CRAPPYPASTA

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2013 Year-End Crappypasta Awards: Nominations [Nominations Closed]

It’s time to do nominations for our first-ever year-end Crappypasta awards! You guys had a ton of ideas, and I’ve whittled them down to ten categories that I think will be fun and interesting to vote for. Small prizes will be given out for a couple categories,  but I am not disclosing which ones, specifically, until nominations are closed to prevent any unscrupulous nomination tactics.

Here are the rules:

  • One vote per person per category. I will be checking.
  • Put ALL of your nominations in one comment. If you split nominations across comments, they will be deleted. This is to make tallying up and keeping track easier for me; I don’t want to have to go through all the comments and play matching games.
  • Only comments/pastas from the site’s inception (June 28, 2012) until Nov 30 2013 are eligible to be nominated. If you nominate something from this December, it won’t count. They will be part of next year’s awards.
  • You do not need to give any reasoning, but you are allowed to explain your vote. However, DO NOT ARGUE WITH EACH OTHER ABOUT NOMINATIONS. Everyone is entitled to their opinion; any comments containing trolling or attempts to pick a fight over a nomination will be deleted.
  • You have until December 20, 2013 to leave your nominations.
  • After December 20, I will close comments on this post and tally up the results. The top 5 nominations for each category will be the official contenders for each category, and I will create a new post with polls allowing everyone to vote on each category.
  • I should have mentioned this before, but it didn’t occur to me until a couple of you left your nominations – while I really appreciate that some of you thought of me, please don’t nominate me for any of the commenter categories! Consider me exempt from this vote. If you’re one of the few who did nominate me for something before I added this note, please reply to your comment with a replacement nominee. Thanks!

Here are the categories:

  1. Best Crappypasta Success Story: You may visit the relevant categories (ADMIN FAIL and Crappypasta Success Stories) to see the eligible pastas. Please select only one pasta that you feel was the best out of all the crappypastas that were rewritten/voted up enough to make it to the main site!
  2. Most Promising Crappypasta (Concept): Which crappypasta would you most like to see rewritten based on its promising concept? Please provide a link to the pasta.
  3. Most Promising Crappypasta (Writing): Which crappypasta made you most want to see more of the writer’s work? Please provide a link to the pasta.
  4. Funniest Comment: Self-explanatory. Which comment on the site do you think is the absolute funniest? Please provide a link to the comment.
  5. Favorite Crappypasta Meme: Examples would be the Pacemaker, Time-Traveling Dad, Dick County Police, Crappypasta News, Crappypasta Bingo, etc. You don’t need to pick one of the previously mentioned memes, if you have another favorite please nominate it instead! Please provide a link to a comment involving the meme.
  6. Most Helpful Commenter: Which commenter do you feel regularly leaves the most genuinely constructive and helpful critiques on the pastas here?
  7. Funniest Commenter: Which commenter do you feel regularly leaves the funniest comments here?
  8. Least Favorite Crappypasta Cliche: What is your absolute least favorite cliche that turns up in crappypastas? Examples would be Jeff fanfic self-inserts, minecraft pastas, etc. You can use the tags as your guide or suggest something else that bothers you.
  9. Worst Overall Pasta: As it sounds. Which crappypasta do you really, really hate? Please provide a link to the pasta.
  10. Worst Creepypasta Fanfic Pasta: Vote for your least favorite crappypasta that features an already established Creepypasta monster/character. Slenderman, Jeff the Killer, The Rake, etc. Check Oh, Look. More Fanfiction. for eligible pastas. Please provide a link to the pasta.

So bring on the nominations and have fun!

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26 Comments

  1. 1. The twist: a parody.
    2. http://www.crappypasta.com/the-answers-to-all/
    3.
    4. Alright, I’m not sure why, but http://www.crappypasta.com/the-game-a-poem/ this coment from the operator (The one were he examins the ryming structure) had me lauging my head off.
    5. COMMANDO! I wish that Rudolph Von Rindear got more attention though.
    6. Hmm… I’m not really sure on this one. I’m one unhelpful bastard, that rules me out at least. I’m going to nominate Derpbutt for this one, he really deserves it.
    7. Yossarian.
    8. Jeff the Killer self inserts. The minecraft ones are most likely by little kids, and are just bad because of a lack of effort. The jeff self inserts are usually quite long, and aren’t awful grammar wise. People wasted hours of their lives writing that shit, and they’re old enough to know it’s absolute shit.
    9. I wish I could nominate Charlie the killer for this. Instead, I’m going for Jeff The Killer. http://www.creepypasta.com/jeff-the-killer/ How the hell can anyone find it any good?
    10. http://www.crappypasta.com/candy-killer/ I’m beginning to think the name Candy is cursed.

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  2. 1. A Twist: A Parody
    2. “Creeping Death” http://www.crappypasta.com/creeping-death/
    3. Also “Creeping Death” http://www.crappypasta.com/creeping-death/
    4. “Jaimy the Killer” Comment by Yossarian http://www.crappypasta.com/jaimy-the-killer/#comments
    5. Time-Traveling Dad of course.
    6. Alfred Fredrick Dinglebottom.
    7. Yossarian
    8. Jeff Fan-fics. Pure evil.
    9. “Slender: My Personal Account” http://www.crappypasta.com/slender-my-personal-account/
    10. “Slender: My Personal Account” http://www.crappypasta.com/slender-my-personal-account/

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    • Thanks for the vote. I didn’t expect to get nominated for that by anyone!

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  3. I’m not going to leave nominations for everything here, but I have a few things to list down.

    Most Helpful Commenter: Well, it sure isn’t me, but it’s got to be Derpbutt.
    Funniest Commenter: I’m kind of split between The Operator and Yossarian, but I’m leaning a bit towards Yossarian at the moment.
    Least Favorite Crappypasta Cliche: Any pasta with that has the title (insert generic name here) the killer.
    Worst Overall Pasta: http://www.crappypasta.com/youtube-is-waching/
    Ah yes, the pasta where I left my first comment on. The entire pasta can be summed up like this. Kid gets paranoid, then tells the world that Youtube MIGHT be “waching” you. Brilliance at its finest.
    Worst Creepypasta Fanfic Pasta:
    http://www.crappypasta.com/slender-my-personal-account/
    I think everyone would agree with me on this if you read the story. Sex with Slenderman. Do I need to say anything more about that?

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  4. 1. The Twist: A parody (not gonna disagree there).
    2. Grin. http://www.crappypasta.com/grin/
    3. The Supermarket Monster. It literally made me laugh out loud for the first time in months, I want to see more written material from that guy. http://www.crappypasta.com/the-supermarket-monster/
    4. Yossarian, http://www.crappypasta.com/jaimy-the-killer/#comments
    5. Time-travelling dad.
    6. Derpbutt himself.
    7. Yossarian (yeah, there’s no way he isn’t winning this.)
    8. My Little Pony… enough said.
    9. sEra thE killEr… There’s bad, and then there’s insulting: http://www.crappypasta.com/sera-killer-remake/
    10. I would go with Charlie the Killer, but instead, Slender: my personal account. http://www.crappypasta.com/slender-my-personal-account/ Ugh.

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    • Alright, I’m going with The Operator then for number 6.

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    • Yoss is a she.

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  5. CRAPPY AWARDS VOTING TIME LET’S DO THIS

    1: The Ritual (The Twist was great, but I feel like this one is better, in my opinion)
    2: The Answers to All, just like Bravo. http://www.crappypasta.com/the-answers-to-all/
    3: The Pop-Up (or) Jane Queen (http://www.crappypasta.com/the-pop-up-or-jane-queen). Or anything by StupidDialUp.
    4: http://www.crappypasta.com/the-supermarket-monster/#comment-20961 – Supermarket Monster comment by The Operator
    5: Dick County wins out for me.
    6: Derpbutt.
    7: Yossarian.
    8: I particularly hate haunted game pastas, Pokepastas in particular.
    9: http://www.crappypasta.com/why-voldimort-should-not-be-named/ – I don’t know why. I just really hate this one.
    10: http://www.crappypasta.com/slender-my-personal-account/ HATE DESPAIR HATE DESPAIR

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    • 6 [redo]: I’m going to have to vote for myself on this front, no matter how much of a dick move it may seem.

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  6. Most Promising Concept:
    The Nightmare http://www.crappypasta.com/the-nightmare-3/

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  7. Well, here I go!

    1. Best Crappypasta Success Story – The Twist: A parody
    2. Most Promising Creepypasta (Concept) – Watched http://www.crappypasta.com/watched/
    I really like the concept of somebody getting tormented by shifting paintings, but I feel this one need a re-write.
    3. Most Promising Creepypasta (Writting) – Pressed Against The Glass http://www.crappypasta.com/pressed-against-the-glass/
    4. Funniest Comment – Yossarian http://www.crappypasta.com/jaimy-the-killer/#comment-28151
    5. Favorite Crappypasta Meme – The Pacemaker, helping you keep your pulse rate AT 0! (I’m not apologizing.)
    6. Most Helpful Commenter – Alfred Frederick Dinglebottom
    7. Funniest Commenter – Operator.
    8. Least Favorite Crappypasta Cliche – When I see “This is a real story” I scream internaly.
    9. Worst Overall Pasta – I’m pretty sure there are far worse pastas, but I have a particular amount of hatred and vitriol for this piece of dung. http://www.crappypasta.com/the-nameless/
    10. I had forgotten about “Slender: My Personal Account” http://www.crappypasta.com/slender-my-personal-account/ until I took a peek at what the others voted. Thanks guys! I WILL NEVER FORGET!!!

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  8. 1. http://www.creepypasta.com/what-a-lovely-war/

    2. http://www.crappypasta.com/grin/

    3. http://www.crappypasta.com/creeping-death/
    Even though it’s a Slendy pasta, I love the idea of placing him in Ancient Egypt. It’s that sort of imaginative thinking that I really enjoy. It may not have been an original character but that setting is just fantastic.

    4. http://www.crappypasta.com/the-mongoose-people/

    My comment at the end. Where I created a better version of the pasta.

    5. Dick County easily.

    6. This is a tricky one. It appears as though most people leave at least one helpful comment. I’d have to say that Pax seems to be the first one that comes to mind who gives out mostly helpful comments and is far less rude than some of us.

    7. Yossarian

    8. Jeff fanfic fuckwit cliché crap that involves a Mary-Sue wins this one easily. I didn’t even have to think about it. Minecraft comes in at second in my opinion though.

    9. Whether it was submitted on purpose or not this was such a waste of Derp’s time. One of the best comments I’ve written came as a result of this, so not all is lost.
    http://www.crappypasta.com/jeff-jane-the-killer/

    10. http://www.crappypasta.com/smile/

    I hate this one with a passion. It’d awful, weird and nonsensical from the start to finish. Probably the easiest deconstruction I’ve ever done.

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  9. 1. The Twist: A Parody

    2. http://www.crappypasta.com/watching_you-wmv/

    3. http://www.crappypasta.com/vcr/

    4. The Operator’s Shut The Fuck Up Theater in Creepypasta Gamer http://www.crappypasta.com/creepypasta-gamer/#comments

    5. Dick County

    6. Alfred Frederick Dinglebottom

    7. The Operator

    8. Pokepastas. I always groan when i encounter one.

    9. http://www.crappypasta.com/youtube-is-waching/
    This story… i don’t even know what to say about this one. Basically a kid gets paranoid for no reason, assumes that youtube is “waching” him and warns the
    reader that youtube may be “waching.” The only point i saw in that story was that the writer was trying to shamelessly advertise his youtube channel.

    10. http:/www.crappypasta.com/smile/
    Ugh, this is the worst Jeff romance story i’ve ever seen in this site. It stars a horny, Jeff-loving, mary-sue teenager WHOSE NAME IS FUCKIN’ SMILE! She stalks Jeff and follows him wherever he goes while masturbating, then she gots bored and stabs Jane. Not even Slender: My Personal Account reaches the level of stupidity this crappypasta has reached.

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  10. Best Crappypasta Success story:
    What a Lovely War
    http://www.creepypasta.com/what-a-lovely-war/

    Most Promising Crappypasta (Concept):
    “Hi, Mom”
    http://www.crappypasta.com/hi-mom/

    Most Promising Crappypasta (Writing):
    Supermarket Monster
    http://www.crappypasta.com/the-supermarket-monster/

    I’d give a lot to see this person write more like Supermarket Monster.

    Favourite Crappypasta Meme:
    Time-Travelling Dad

    Dick County Police is a close second.

    Most Helpful Commenter:
    Alfred Frederick Dinglebottom

    Funniest Commenter:
    The Operator

    Least Favourite Crappypasta Cliché:
    Jeff Self-Inserts

    There’s so much to hate. I originally was going to choose “characters crying blood”, “character has a less-than-perfect day and slaughters hundreds of innocents”, or “author informs us that this is their first creepypasta and asks us to be nice”, but a lot of Jeff & Mary Sue pastas feature some or all of those.

    Worst Overall Pasta, Worst Fanfic Pasta:
    Slender: My Personal Account

    Both categories were a tough choice, but nothing will ever top a story in which Slenderman falls in love with a 6 year old child, watches her for 10 years, takes her to his “Shadow Kingdom”, they live in a castle, get married, fuck, devour children, impale and disembowel small child, have slender-spawn, and live happily ever after. Some say the author is still ejaculating to this day.

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  11. 7. The Operator
    8. Usually when there’s a little girl in a creepy hallway or a child goes on a killing spree.
    9. “WORLD IS PUNISHMENT ||-_-|| http://www.crappypasta.com/world-is-punishment-ll-_-ll/
    10. “Livi the Cyco” http://www.crappypasta.com/livi-the-cyco/

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  12. 1) Best CrappyPasta Success Story
    The People In The Attic
    http://www.crappypasta.com/the-people-in-the-attic/
    I’ve always enjoyed when authors experiment with different writing styles, and I hate it when non-writers call it ‘purple prose’. There’s nothing purple about it. As in all mediums of art, a writer needs to find their own voice. This is best accomplished through experimentation with prose, which this author used.

    2) Most Promising CrappyPasta (Concept)
    Ms. Mary Mack
    http://www.crappypasta.com/ms-mary-mack/

    The idea of illustrating a tale through stanzas of poetry is a good one. But it’s also a monumental task, so I appreciate the author making the attempt. I’m guessing the author is of a younger age, and I hope he/she revisits the idea after they have become more seasoned as a writer.

    3) Most Promising CrappyPasta (Writing)
    The Lying Man
    http://www.crappypasta.com/the-lying-man/

    One of the few (and by few I literally mean three) crappypastas I’ve read where the author incorporated both originality and an effective writing style in their story. With some fleshing out and editing, ‘The Lying Man’ would make a great addition to the main site.

    4) Funniest Comment
    http://www.crappypasta.com/the-night-he-came/#comment-29099

    Short but clever, and caused me to snort my rum & coke all over my IPad.

    5) Favorite CrappyPasta Meme
    Dick County
    http://www.crappypasta.com/d-county-police-report/

    A meme created from censorship; gotta love it.

    6) Most Helpful Commenter
    Faith

    Unless it’s an obvious troll or the pasta is so half-assed it boggles all logic, then she always remains civil and tries to leave some objective criticism.

    7) Funniest Commenter
    Bravo 104

    I used to be a film buff. So the constant references to movies propels me through the files of celluloid littering my brain housing group, and brings a smile to my face.

    8) Least Favorite CrappyPasta Cliche
    All Gaming Pastas

    No matter the game, every one is cloned from another. A tedious, repetitious, chicken-scratched descent into self-insertion, unexplainable ‘glitches’, and boredom incarnate. There’s no way to make something creepy that 99% of the people on the planet have never even heard of, let alone played.

    9) Worst Overall Pasta
    Livi the cyco
    http://www.crappypasta.com/livi-the-cyco/

    This abomination had it all – A misspelled title, terrible grammar, punctuation, spelling and capitalization. The author tried to tell the readers that her story was true. She inserted herself into the pasta as the killer. And then she had the audacity to beg for her putrid character to be accepted as a new meme and posted on the main site. Considering the work I put into my own writing, this pasta really pissed me off.

    10) Worst CreepyPasta Fanfic Pasta
    Jeff the Killer vs. Pinky Pie
    http://www.crappypasta.com/jeff-the-killer-vs-pinky-pie/

    The title says it all.

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    • “7) Funniest Commenter
      Bravo 104″
      Life goal: achieved.

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    • Hey thanks so much for the People in the Attic shout-out! I wasn’t expecting to even get nominated at all, so thank you!

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    • Some people really enjoy reading purple prose. Most people don’t. Authors can feel free to “express themselves” however they wish, but in the end it is difficult for most people to enjoy or even understand a story when an author overuses his purple inc.

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  13. Alright, voting time!

    1. Best Success Story- The Twist: A Parody
    (http://www.crappypasta.com/the-twist-a-parody/)

    This story really struck a chord for me. It proves that good parodies can be written.

    2. Best Crappypasta (Concept)- The Answers to All (http://www.crappypasta.com/the-answers-to-all/)

    The format and spelling/grammar need to be fixed a little, but it truly is a beautiful concept.

    3. Best Crappypasta (Writing)- anything by StupidDialUp

    DialUp never fails. Most of his stories have quite a bit of potential, but just miss the mark.

    4. Funniest Comment- Yoss’s comment on Jaimy the Killer
    ( http://www.crappypasta.com/jaimy-the-killer/#comments)

    The only time I’ve seen a good ‘X the Killer’ story. EVER.

    5. Best Crappypasta Meme- Dick County Police

    Ah, good ol’ Dick County, where a requirement to be an officer is to have no more than 30 IQ points.

    6. Most Helpful Commenter- Pax

    Pax, Crappypasta did eventually break you, (like it did to us all), but you’re still the nicest and most supportive commenter on here.

    7. Funniest Commenter- The Operator

    The Operator never fails to make me laugh. He’s one of the wittiest guys I know.

    8. Worst Crappypasta Cliché- Mary Sue falls in love with X psychopath.

    This one can apply to any Creepypasta meme. It has led to some of the most boring, vulgar, and worst written shit on this site.

    9. Worst Overall Pasta- sEra thE killEr (remake)(http://www.crappypasta.com/sera-killer-remake/)

    Good lord, the author is probably the worst person I know. She writes like shit and comes up with 10001 shittier excuses why she does.

    10. Worst Creepypasta Fan Fic- Slender: My Personal Account
    (http://www.crappypasta.com/slender-my-personal-account/)

    I’ll never be able to get those images out of my head. It is the pinnacle of terrifying fetishes.

    Thanks for doing this, derp!

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  14. 7. Alfred Fredrick Dinglebottom
    9. sEra thE killEr (remake)

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  15. Just making it in under the line! Here are my choices:

    1. Best Success Story – 3000 AD. I liked the creativity of the story and the author was very receptive to critiques.

    2. Most Promising (Concept) – http://www.crappypasta.com/the-thief/ The Thief.

    3. Most Promising (Writing) – http://www.crappypasta.com/a-biid-for-beauty/ I really like things written by StupidDialUp, so he/she gets my vote for best writing in general.

    4. Funniest Comment – Man, I’m having trouble finding it, but it’s from The Operator on one of the Slenderman fanfics. I’m running out of time, so I’ll try to find it while I’m at work and post it in a reply. I hope that’s okay…

    5. Funniest Crappypasta Meme – I gotta go with Dick County police, or just Dick County in general. I love that we’ve got a place where all crappypastas now occur!

    6. Most Helpful Commenter – Faith.

    7. Funniest Commenter – The Operator.

    8. Least Favorite Crappypasta Cliche – Jeff self-inserts. Always a terrible idea, and there’s just so many of them!

    9. Worst Overall Pasta – SEra thE KillEr (remake) http://www.crappypasta.com/sera-killer-remake/ Everything I have to say about why I hate this one is in the comment I left for it. Just terrible.

    10. Worst Fanfic – Jeff’s “Fun Day” http://www.crappypasta.com/jeffs-fun-day/ Just so, so insulting and shameful.

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