CRAPPYPASTA

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A “Loving” Husband

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Hi. My name’s Travis. I haven’t met you, yet. Or have I? Oh yeah. Remember me? I’m your childhood friend. I believe we have some catching up to do. Well, now I’m 23. I’m married to my highschool sweatheart. What else? Ah. Also, I killed all of the people that got in the way of our love. I hid them in an abandoned cemetery. Ironic, eh? Anyways, you won’t get in the way of out love, will you? Heh. The look on your face right now. You don’t know what to say. Don’t say you won’t if you don’t mean it because I can tell. But, if you say you will, I’ll put you like the others. Oh, you won’t? Great! So, you can become part of out family! What? You don’t want to be part of our family? Then must mean you’re in our way. You know what I do to people like that. What’s that? How can you be with us, but not in the family? That’s not possible. You’re just lying to keep from dying. Why don’t you want to die? You’ll only end up like all the others. Not to bad. I’ll just stand here. Waiting for you to make a mistake. Eventually, you’ll fall asleep. That’s when I do it. I’ll capture you and take you to the cemetery tie you up against a tombstone that reminds me of you. You’ll be awake by then. This is when it gets fun. I’ll cut your eyelids out with my pocket knife. Then you’ll have to watch yourself suffering and watching yourself die. I’ll cut a little piece of you off at a time. First your tongue. All the way to your toes. One by one. You’ll be dead by then. Most likely from bleeding to death. Maybe even drowning in your own blood. That is, if you refuse to drink it when I pour it down your throat. By then I’ll bury you. Nobody will ever know what happened. Huh? Why am I telling you my plan? Hah! That’s because you can’t do anything about it! Why you may ask? Because this has already happened. Yet, I’m the one that has the scars. You’re untouched. How can this be? How could you do this to me, Travis?

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126 Comments

  1. um wait what
    *rereads*

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  2. A few things:

    First off: you killed it completely by putting the name at the end. Every person who isn’t named Travis will just get agitated and feel robbed of the time it took them to read the fic.

    Secondly, you should separate your paragraphs; carry out the sentences rather than have a shit ton of small clips of words.

    It just felt like a chore to read with no pay off at all. I can see the minute beginning of a story here, but it falls flat.

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  3. uuh was it his high school sweetheart that he murdered??

    anyways thats my theory…

    //Shadow_911

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  4. awful

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  5. Wut? I found that extremely hard to keep track of.

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  6. I feel I wasted as much time reading this as the person who wrote it this it was altogether lacking a creepy and had more a crappy in it and that is why its on this site and not the main site

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  7. @Richard
    The narrator’s name is Travis. He’s mocking what ‘you’ would have said, like i someone said it in a high-pitched voice whilst wiggling their fingers at them.
    “How could you do this to me?”
    *squeaky voice, wiggle fingers*

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  8. It was already obvious this guy was insane, but I just wanna point out, he’s talking to himself here. Either that, or he’s talking to someone with the same name as him.

    “Hi. My name’s Travis.”
    “How could you do this to me, Travis?”

    I’m probably wrong, since I obviously don’t have the patience to read Crappypastas, and rarely even read creepy ones… but, of course, I just decided to read the beginning and end.

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    • Did you bother to read the comment directly above you?

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      • He probably didn’t, mainly because of how the comment system works, the other comment would still be in moderation when he posted.

        And unless the guy’s the author, I don’t think he’s right. I mean, he theory is as good as any others, judging at how nonsensical the pasta was.

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  9. … lolwut.

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  10. My take is, the author meant to do a twist ending, with describing how the narrator would kill you (the reader).

    In the end, it’s revealed the narrator is actually the victim and the reader is the killer (Travis).

    …whoa, thought I couldn’t make it more confusing but apparently I could. ;p

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    • Again, that person JUST explained that this “Travis” guy is mocking you by saying what ‘you’ would be saying. *Squeaky voice* “Why would you do this to me, Travis?”

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      • No, that’s just his theory. He could still be wrong. I’m not saying he’s wrong, it’s just that no-one else is sure either. And by the looks of things, you’ve commented on every other comment like this as well.

        Just stop.

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  11. wut

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  12. well… I’m not really sure what just happened there. Who was Travis? Am I Travis? Are YOU Travis? Is my dog Travis?

    Might have been a bit better if you left out the name. And paragraphs are your friend, my dear.

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    • *facepalm*
      This is why I read all the comments before posting mine. I reply to half of them, yes, but i still actually bother to read what other people put.

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    • there’s a zerg hydralisk over there named travis…

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  13. I like the idea – if you work on it a little more, you could have a really great story. I like that it was short and sharp. Even though it was hard to follow, and very cliche at times, it has potential.

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  14. Wut.

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  15. THEN WHO WAS TRAVIS???

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    • HE WAS MOCKING WHAT HE EXPECT YOU TO BE SAYING GOD THIS IS FRUSTRATING

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      • That’s not how you do a plot twist, cupcake.

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      • I believe you don’t quite understand the joke there, dear.

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      • Seriously, cupcake, enough! Other people are entitled to their views. They’re explaining what they felt upon reading the story, not the comments. It is not yyour duty to keep. repeating. yourself.

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  16. I think i can do a summery of what is happening: you have a childhood friend that marys his high school sweetheart, then he kills randome people…then he wants to kill you,but he ends up killing himself then when you least expect it….your name is Travis.

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    • I give up.

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      • Please do.

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      • Do you have nothing else to do? Is your life really that empty? How about taking a break from diligently correcting* people and look up the definition of the word “joke”?

        *What makes you think your theory is the correct one?

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  17. Great pasta :)
    Nice twist ending

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  18. What the fuck.

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  19. Why is this shitty story calling me Travis.

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  20. Why?

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  21. Nice story but obviously needs polishing, eliminate wall of text and fix misspelling and grammar. I could really relate to this story, I remember when I was in high school I would chase after the love of my life and sometimes though about killing her boyfriends that were my competition LOL nice.

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    • ………Nice to know o_O

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    • She was not the “love of your life.” She was your crush.

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  22. My brain just imploded.

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    • yeah, imploding is a lot less… messy >:D

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  23. I like reading this like an Old Spice ad. That’s the only way it’s tolerable.

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  24. That’s a knee-slapper. ^

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  25. I think… that the narrator is actually supposed to be undead or something, or maybe some twisted specter, and is planning to repeat their own death, inflicted by Travis.

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