DERPNOTE: This pasta has received the required amount of upvotes and will be posted on the main site on January 9th. Thanks, guys!
Finally, I’m home. After working a late night, I finally finished a project that my boss pushed on me. It was all worth it though, because I had a great day ahead of me. The part I was most excited for though, was seeing my son. I finally won the custody battle against my ex-wife, so now I actually get to see him. I fixed up my old spare bedroom for him, although it looked bland in all white. I figured we would have some spare time later and we could make any changes he wanted. I lumbered up the stairs, and when he finally heard I was here, he quickly called me into his room.
“Daddy, I can’t sleep, there’s a monster in the window!”
Monsters, huh, that’s original for a kid.
“Oh don’t worry about that, it’s just the tree’s branches blowing in the wind, see?”
I pointed and showed him the branch tapping against the window pane. He trusted me enough to calm himself down, and I kissed him good night. Finally, time for sleep, I could hardly even see straight at this point. I walked across the hallway, and collapsed into my bed. I had too much on my plate to be dealing with monsters. I had to go with him to school the next day to get him signed up in our district, I had to buy him school clothes, I couldn’t even think straight. That’s when I heard him calling again. Man, I love the kid and all, but I needed some sleep!
“Daddy, the monster is back again!” he shrieked.
I looked to the window: nope, nothing but the tree’s branches. I walked over, and to prove it to him, I opened the window and turned back to him.
“See, it’s nothing but the tree, I told you, now go to sleep, you’ve got school in the morning.”
He was still a little startled from what I could see, but what could I do, I was just too damn tired. Again, I fell into the comfort of my bed. Then I heard a cry, and I had just had enough.
“Fine, I’ll just sleep in your bed with you, if you see any monsters, just hold tight to me.”
I walked back into his room, pulled back his red blanket, and lay next to the kid.
While I lay, eyes closed, my mind started wandering. Didn’t I buy white sheets for the bed? I looked at my son’s slit neck and realized my mistake. That’s when I heard the monster, except it wasn’t tapping at the glass; it was the footsteps from the opened window. I couldn’t help but laugh, how didn’t I realize I had no trees in my yard?