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Branches in the Wind

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DERPNOTE: This pasta has received the required amount of upvotes and will be posted on the main site on January 9th. Thanks, guys!

Finally, I’m home. After working a late night, I finally finished a project that my boss pushed on me. It was all worth it though, because I had a great day ahead of me. The part I was most excited for though, was seeing my son. I finally won the custody battle against my ex-wife, so now I actually get to see him. I fixed up my old spare bedroom for him, although it looked bland in all white. I figured we would have some spare time later and we could make any changes he wanted. I lumbered up the stairs, and when he finally heard I was here, he quickly called me into his room.
“Daddy, I can’t sleep, there’s a monster in the window!”

Monsters, huh, that’s original for a kid.

“Oh don’t worry about that, it’s just the tree’s branches blowing in the wind, see?”

I pointed and showed him the branch tapping against the window pane. He trusted me enough to calm himself down, and I kissed him good night. Finally, time for sleep, I could hardly even see straight at this point. I walked across the hallway, and collapsed into my bed. I had too much on my plate to be dealing with monsters. I had to go with him to school the next day to get him signed up in our district, I had to buy him school clothes, I couldn’t even think straight. That’s when I heard him calling again. Man, I love the kid and all, but I needed some sleep!

“Daddy, the monster is back again!” he shrieked.

I looked to the window: nope, nothing but the tree’s branches. I walked over, and to prove it to him, I opened the window and turned back to him.

“See, it’s nothing but the tree, I told you, now go to sleep, you’ve got school in the morning.”

He was still a little startled from what I could see, but what could I do, I was just too damn tired. Again, I fell into the comfort of my bed. Then I heard a cry, and I had just had enough.

“Fine, I’ll just sleep in your bed with you, if you see any monsters, just hold tight to me.”

I walked back into his room, pulled back his red blanket, and lay next to the kid.

While I lay, eyes closed, my mind started wandering. Didn’t I buy white sheets for the bed? I looked at my son’s slit neck and realized my mistake. That’s when I heard the monster, except it wasn’t tapping at the glass; it was the footsteps from the opened window. I couldn’t help but laugh, how didn’t I realize I had no trees in my yard?

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  • Cariaian

    That’s kind of sadistic. Your son just died and you’re laughing because you made a stupid mistake that got him killed. It’s a good thing this isn’t real lol.

  • Emory batman

    Nice pasta bro

  • Niima

    All you need is just a few tweaks, make the ending a bit more of an impact, it kind of tapers off when you say it was footsteps. Maybe end at no trees? Please rewrite, this is my fav on this site!

    • http://creepypasta.com OctopusRave

      HE WAS KILLED BY THE TREES :O

  • Dave Taylor

    I’d cut out the part about having to laugh, because that’s just an absurd reaction to have, unless ‘your’ mind snapped – which it didn’t, since you’re telling us this story firsthand and not interjecting your words with raving gibberish.

    I’d also lose explicitly stating the slit neck. Clean up the ending and trust your audience to provide the details, there’s no need to spell the horror out like that. What if in the reader’s imagination, they want him to have been disemboweled, instead of having had his throat cut? Maybe that’s creepier, for them.

    What if you went to pull the sheets back and got mad because your son had seemingly wet the bed, then pulled your hand away and seen that it was soaked in crimson up to the wrist?

    A couple minor changes to the ending would make this a perfect pasta. This is about two minutes of re-writing away from being awesome.

  • Black Dahlia Smile

    I was just thinking the same thing, I think you should say something along the lines of you felt something warm and wet spreading across the sheets and so you tried to wake your son thinking he had wet the bed, and when he wouldn’t wake up you pull the sheets back and that’s when you realize the sheets are crimson and your son whom you had presumed had finally fallen asleep was no longer alive. Just a

  • derpbutt

    This was never rewritten, but it’s received the required ratio of upvotes, so I’ll be scheduling it for the main site.

  • Cory

    I read the story for what it is and I “get it”. No need to re-write the “I couldn’t help but laugh” part or anything. It’s dark twisted humor. Nice job

  • MAD-obo

    Kinda reminded me of a mixture of ” The Angel” and “LIghtning” pastas. I liked those..this was alright

  • Pyroken

    I kind of chuckled at the end of the pasta.
    Heh