CRAPPYPASTA

For those pastas that are smelling less than fresh…


case 1 : the crowner ( part 1 )

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When you sleep you close your eyes, when you walk you open them,  could we live longer if it was the other way around? or should we  cut our eyelids off… it was 9:46 pm, i went to put my daughters to sleep after a nice meal my wife had cooked us. i tucked my youngest in first, thats when i realized my oldest daughter was missing. I went down stairs to the kitchen, thats where i heard rumbling. I didn’t see her but i did see the fridge slightly open, you could see the light from it spliting the darkness, i went to close it… but it wouldn’t close, something was in the way. I opened the fridge… my legs gave out when i saw my daughters head twisted around. BANG* ” dad its mr.tim he’s at the door wake up!” i opened my eyes ” uh hold on sweetie im coming” i went to get up but i felt something watching me, i turned around… oh of course ” Tim! i thought you had the day off Monty! what is Tim doing here!” my wife Judy  scalded me. Her hair was so frazzeld i couldn’t take her seriously.” i’ll go see” kiss*
Credit To – 2209panda1

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case 1 : the crowner ( part 1 ), 2.0 out of 10 based on 18 ratings
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  • Phoebus

    I cryed

    • Alfred Frederick Dinglebottom

      Yeah well I cried, because that’s how you spell it.

  • AwesomeSauce

    I got one thing from that story… She SCALDED you?

  • Tokyoboosh

    Ouch. I’m pretty sure you could get a court case against someone who purposeful scalds you.. That is assault!

  • Yossarian

    What the hell does cutting off eyelids have to do with the rest of the story?

  • The Doctor

    LAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZYYYYYYYYY.

    No, that doesn’t quite cut it.

    You are SO freaking lazy with your writing that I had to stop, take an hour break, and come back so I could read the rest of this VERY short story without crying.

  • SparkleNaut

    Hahahaha, what? I like the sudden “BANG*” used there.
    But, real talk, I have absolutely no clue what this was about.
    And the title, “The Crowner”, just made me think of child-birth…? Yeck!

  • Alfred Frederick Dinglebottom

    Genius, I love the way you built up the suspension throughout the story, you then ended on a cliff hanger which now means I cannot wait for part two…wait, that’s how it’s supposed to work, this was crap.

    Is Jeff the Killer involved because that would be amazing, there’s not enough pastas that involve him, I need to find out more. Woops, I did it again, there are too many Jeff pastas.

    If this is a Jeff pasta (eyelid removal) then it really would be advisable if you were to take yourself away from this website. Do something constructive for society, play with the traffic.

  • Paul

    I’m sorry, what?

  • Excalibur is broken

    This was so beautiful, the kiss at the end, it brought tears to my eyes. So did the spelling, grammar, and punctuation.