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Cause of Death


I crouch molded into the corner of this darkened room. What am I hiding from? I can hear it coming for me.
The footsteps grow louder with each step they ascend. I try to control my rapid, gasping. I shouldn’t have come here. It’s only $100. It isn’t worth it. The stories are true and this house is home to evil. I cannot escape. I must not move.
The footsteps stop. It has reached the top of the stairs. I hear them begin again as it makes its way down the hallway which isn’t nearly long enough.  I’m plastered against the wall in fear. There isn’t anywhere for me to go. There are no closets or beds for me to hide beneath. I’m stuck here in this open room waiting for him to find me.
The thudding footsteps grow louder and faster. He knows I’m here. He knows exactly where I am and he’s going to kill me. I dig into the walls with my fingernails trying to hold on for dear life. Wood shards nestle into the tender skin and blood pools. I stifle a cry and cover my mouth quickly.
He is probably about three doors away now. I don’t have much time left.  Tears begin to flow freely down my cheeks and onto my blouse. I squeeze my eyes shut and dig once again into the softened wood.
He is outside the door. I begin sobbing loudly and uncontrollably. What does it matter? He knows exactly where I am and he is going to kill me.

September 6th 2011
The body of April Willows was found alone last evening, in the second story of a house which appeared to have been abandoned for some time. The only apparent injury was the collection of dried blood and splinters collected underneath her fingernails.
Cause of death: Heart Attack

Credit To – TheRadHatter

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  • Dave Taylor

    So the thumping was getting ‘closer’ because it was her heart beating harder, I like it.

    You might want to sneak in a couple other symptoms women have before heart attacks, since it’s typically men who experience the more ‘classic’ symptoms. I’d keep the thumping, it fits, but women tend to present more often with shortness of breath and dizziness – both could be ascribed to her terror of the ‘monster’.

    A little more exposition, maybe? Who is she, and what makes this place such a frightening dare? Right now it seems like a paranoid woman had a heart attack because it sounded like footsteps. But if you show us WHY she should be so afraid of this place, then maybe the ending is a little more ambiguous? Maybe the evil whatever just wants you to think she had a heart attack.

    I agree with this being in the undercooked section, but I feel like it’s very nearly ready to be main page material. And honestly, I like it better than some of the stuff that makes it through.

  • Oodles

    So she scared herself to death in other words? Cool. :)

  • Red

    This is pretty cool! Only slightly undercooked! 😀