I’m used to it by now, he’s been doing it since I was very little. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night to his cries, so loud that my heart jumps in place before I remember. Daddy screams.
When I was younger, about four, I asked Mommy what had happened to Daddy that could make him scream.
“A little after you were born,” She replied, “Daddy was solider. He went away, far far across the world. While he was there some bad guys launched weapons at Daddy’s camp. It made a big explosion, and it hurt a lot of people. Daddy was very scared, but don’t you think he was very brave?” Her explanation was so simple that I had to understand. I wasn’t as satisfied with the answer as I’d hoped I would be, but I didn’t know how else to ask.
I began to understand what being a solider meant. Over the next year I asked more questions, stared at the picture of Daddy in his uniform that Mommy kept on the mantle. I learned not to ask Daddy questions about his trip. The bombing had taken his vision, so I knew when I was close to him he could not see me. Even when I talked to him he did not answer. Mommy said it wasn’t my fault, that Daddy had been very hurt, and no one could understand what happened inside of him. So by day, he was silent.
But at night he screams, he screams for hours on end. I beg him and beg him to stop, but he doesn’t seem to hear me. I always knew he’s scared but I couldn’t understand why. Mommy said he was safe now.
One night I climbed out of bed. I slowly walked across the floor and through the door. It was cold, my feet felt frozen and my nose was quickly chilled. I walked to Daddy and asked him to stop screaming. Immediately, he stopped. I thanked him and walked back into my room, crawled into bed and fell back asleep.
And so every night that’s what I would do.
One night however, Mommy woke up as I was getting out of bed. She asked me what I was doing and I told her I was going to ask Daddy to stop screaming.
“Never mind that,” She said, “You get back into bed.”
The next morning I asked her why she wouldn’t let me talk to Daddy.
She looked at me and said “I thought you were sleep walking. Why else would you want to visit Daddy’s grave in the dead of night?”
I turned back to face her. “Daddy screams.”
Credit To – Irish Insanity
Credit Link – http://irishinsanity.tumblr.com/