It was a cold and stormy night, but I was very excited. I was about to leave and see my favorite cousin Ann. My mother was very worried, because she’d heard that there’s been a murderer on the loose who kills his victims with a large butcher’s knife.
“Don’t you worry a fig,” I had said. “I’ll be perfectly fine, mother. I’m already a grown woman!”
“Yes, but-”
“Mother, I don’t want to hear any more about this,” I said sternly. Then I got my things ready, said goodbye, and drove away.
Later on, I realized that my car was running out of petrol, so I drove over to a gas station. Once my car was all fine again, I paid the man who worked at the gas station and was about to leave when his eyes got big and he said, “Wait! Stop!” I started to get nervous, because Mother told me to never trust anyone because of that murderer. I started up my engine and started to drive away, but he kept chasing after me.
“Oh, did I pay too much? Just keep the change!” I yelled.
“No, it’s not that-” He reached me and was right next to my car. I was so scared that I almost ran over him! He yelped and ran back to the gas station. I sighed with relief. A few seconds later, I saw him chasing after my car in a van! I drove as fast as I could, I didn’t care about the speed limit. There wasn’t anyone else here anyway.
Finally, I lost the man. I sighed again with relief and finally reached Ann’s house. I parked my car in her garage, feeling very proud of myself.
“See,” I said to myself proudly. “I’m a very responsible grown woman. I can take care of myself. Mother didn’t have to worry a fig.”
Suddenly, I noticed something move in the backseat of my car. I slowly turned around, and there, sitting in the backseat, was a large scary man. And in his hand was a gleaming large butcher’s knife.
Don't You Worry A Fig,
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February 2, 2013 at 6:29 pm
I didn’t see that coming.
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February 4, 2013 at 6:30 pm
I’m pretty sure my great grandfather told this story to every living person ever.
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February 5, 2013 at 10:33 am
This is so totally stolen. Hell, it was even used as the opening kill in the movie Urban Legend.
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