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Forever Alone

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Hello my name is Alex and this is my cry for help. I am so desperate, so alone. All alone. These things…These voices inside my head. Their persistent they won’t be quiet. It’s ironic because that’s all my life was before they came, Quiet. I was nothing special. Just an introverted, convoluted nerd. As most would put it anyways. I was never much good at anything. In high school every sport I tried out in I failed miserably. I was your run of the mill loner I had no friends. I wasn’t bullied or anything. That would’ve been a luxury. A human interacting with me in a situation in which they were not forced. It almost seems impossible. Everybody just looked through me, ignored me, acted as though I wasn’t there. They were very convincing to.

My family didn’t help much either, although they were the majority of the humans I interacted with, they were nice enough but they’re emotions seemed hollow. Almost as if they were uncomfortable speaking to me. My widowed mother seemed to avoid me at all costs. My Lone sibling, my sister didn’t try to avoid me as much as she just didn’t have time for me. Even though she was younger than me. She was much more popular and had things like sports and friends to occupy her. All of our interactions seemed hurried and forced. Nothing like how you think a brother and sister would act. After years of thoughts of suicide and ignored pleas for attention I finally graduated.

My grades were average, so I was accepted into an average college. I have an average basement apartment with no roommates and no friends to speak of. That’s when the voices started. Man made demons. These thoughts crawling inside my head are like venomous spiders ready to poison the world and watch it die. Murder,genocide any atrocity you can think of. Prolonged loneliness is synonymous to insanity.

I was able to block out these “urges” for awhile but the voices, oh the voices they spoke honied words of murder and I listened. I mean, no one paid any attention to me so I’ll make them pay in blood. This is just revenge right? My actions were justified. My target was this girl, her name was Samantha, a couple of days ago she noticed my lonely tendencies and spoke to me. Out of sympathy of course but non the less a human being willingly speaking to me. At first I was excited but the voices, the voices knew she was just pretending. Pretending to care about me so she could leave me when I was most vulnerable. I’m not going to let her get to me, I’m going to get her first. So I kept talking to her. The voices taught me how to speak with a silver tongue. So After a few short days I was able to lure her into my apartment.

I killed her… I laughed as I did it. I didn’t do it fast either. No, no that would be far to merciful,I knocked her out and cut her slowly over the course of several days. occasionally she would wake up and scream but duct tape fixed that problem. The voices told me were to cut so she wouldn’t bleed to death but she finally perished after 6 days. I don’t think she died because of the cuts, I think she died due to pure lack of will to go on and as she died I never felt more alive. I finally painted the blank canvas I call my life a beautiful crimson.

After that the urges went away but only for a little while. Now there back and the voices thirst for something much more than murder. As I’m writing this I’m realizing it’s to late for me but before you shrug this off, turn off your lights and go to bed remember this. We’re always scared of whats hiding in the closet or what’s under our bed but what we should really be scared of is whats inside our heads. Now if you would excuse me I have work to do.
Credit To – Faded Reaper

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One Comment

  1. What the heck is this?

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