CRAPPYPASTA

For those pastas that are smelling less than fresh…


Friendship Isn’t Magic

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Many of us have heard of the legendary show, “My Little Pony: Friendship is magic”, with its beloved characters and tendency of creating Memetic Mutations. Its humor, design, and willingness to reach to all audiences and dive into heavy topics like schizophrenia and poisoning have endeared the show to fans all over the world.

But there was one time when it delved a little too far…..

Joshua was a devoted fan and brony, as the hardcore fans called themselves. From the first time he saw the show, he found himself addicted. He wrote stories, collected merchandise, taped every episode and watched them ad nauseum, even became friends with some of the staff that made the show, including Lauren herself.

So when a special episode was created and the crew wanted an outsider’s opinion on how it looked, it was natural that they would call him. He got in his car, brought his good luck plushie of his favorite character, Rainbow Dash, and sped off, making it to Hasbro Studios in less than 3 hours.

The second he entered the studio, he was ushered into a special room with a large TV screen and a chair. He was asked to take a seat and pay close attention, as this was the first time they were going to let someone from the outside give the final call on one of their productions. They reasoned that if this worked and the feedback from their viewer was good, they could craft future episodes to give the fans exactly what they desired, whatever that may be.

The lights darkened and the episode began as Josh held his Dash in his lap, stroking it contently. But right from the beginning, he noticed this was no ordinary episode. Where most of the shows episodes had begun with cold opens, this one just went straight to the title screen, the words Friendship is Magic all in crimson. He didn’t think much of it, chalking it up to maybe a coloring error and continued to watch.

The episode title popped up as usual… but it wasn’t the kind of title Josh had come to expect from the series, known for its use of puns and wit. It simply read…

“FrIenDsHip iSn’T mAGic”

Josh looked back at the door, wondering if there was some sort of hidden camera placed for a joke. But finding just him, the screen, and the chair, he shrugged it off again as maybe a prototype title as he knew sometimes studios gave their shows and movies code names.

The episode started, showing the Mane 6 characters huddled around in the Everfree Forest. But what was strange… was the way they were talking. Each of them had voices that sounded almost distorted at times and perfectly normal at others. The only one that was constantly at normal pace was Rainbow Dash. At first, their speech was indecipherable, but slowly the camera zoomed in and made clearer what they were saying.

“We need someone…. We need him……”

“He is our key…. our power….”

“He will give us life…… he will give us eternity.”

The screen flashed on their faces and showed a grotesque image. Nearly all of them were deformed with pure white eyes, patches of fur missing from their faces, their teeth shaped into horrifying grins with razor-sharp teeth and small rivulets of blood beginning to ooze from their mouths. Like before, the only one who looked normal was the cyan pegasus.

At this point, Josh actually began to get a little creeped out. If this was someones idea of a joke or an Easter egg, it was disturbing. But he pressed on as Rainbow Dash spoke, her voice devoid of confidence and seemingly pleading with her friends.

“We have enough… we don’t need anymore life.. we can die peacefully!”

“That is not an option… We don’t need death. We don’t need it breaking our bonds.”

“But this is sick! This is cruel!”

“Dash… it is what must be done.”

It was then Rainbow Dash broke from the huddle and ran towards the screen, seemingly placing her hooves on the camera. This didn’t come off as too odd to Joshua, since he knew the show liked to bend on the fourth wall at times. But what came off as odd was that it almost looked like… She was staring at him directly. Now as much as Joshua loved having Dash looking at him, this time it struck him as frightening and he started to get up.. until he noticed her head moving up at him.

“Josh!!! Josh!!!”

Hearing her calling out his name, he didn’t know if it was because he’d become so acquainted with the crew they mentioned him as if it was a joke or something else, but the tone in her voice sounded like one…. of pure desperation.

“Josh!!!!! Can you hear me?!”, she cried as the background behind her began to warp and transform, “Josh!!!!! Can you hear me!?”

Startled, Josh replied that he could hear her.

“Josh!!!! Get out of here!!!! Get out of here now!!!”

Terrified, Josh turned to run out, but found himself held back… like he was being pulled by someone.

“No……. no………. you must play…. you must join us…”

Turning his head and shaking, he looked and saw Twilight Sparkle, the purple alicorn, now in Dash’s place, looking at him with the cruelest and most horrifying grin he’d ever seen. Her eyes were wide and black with only small white dots for the eyeballs, her mouth was in a twisted smile from ear to ear, part of her cheeks were missing, showing only the bone, and her voice… her voice was no longer the sensible and pure one that he’d known from her. Now it was one of desire and anger. Her hooves were on the screen just like Dashs had been and she was licking along her teeth, as if looking at a fine meal.

“You love us.. You’ll be us…”

It was then that Josh felt part of him being pulled forcefully, like he was being sucked into a black hole. He tried to fight back, pushing forward and attempting to break free, but the hold just kept getting stronger as he felt like it was beginning to tear something out of him…. like it was beginning to spread him apart.

“You’ll become…. Forever life…..”

The pain began to grow worse, feeling like his back was being ripped open and everything pulled out… He began to yell for someone to shut the tape off, but all that came out were gurgled and horrified screams.

“Now now… don’t cry…. Friendship is Magic… and you’re our friend….. You’ll be our friend forever….”

The pain suddenly grew unbearable and Josh began to vomit, small spurts of blood beginning to spray out of his mouth. He felt like his skeleton was being pulled out…. Like he was being torn slowly to shreds.

“Play………… play…………………. play…………..”

With a loud scream and a flash, the episode went to pure white… the words “ANOTHER ONE” appearing in dripping black letters. The teen fell to his knees and began to scream violently, choking and gasping as if trying to swallow his tongue. The images of the demonic faces surrounded him, calling at him, taunting him…. He scratched at the air wildly and at his own face, trying to rid himself of the horrible images. It was only then that the door opened and one of the producers entered the room and nearly retched at what they saw.

This human being, that had been calm, rational, even chatty, just minutes ago….. was now frothing at the mouth, screaming incoherently, scratching at his face so viciously he was nearly tearing into the bone itself. Blood drops coated the plushie and splayed all along his shirt.

The producer called for someone to call a mental hospital, positive Joshua had gone insane, and turned towards the screen, seeing nothing but blank white.

It took paramedics less than 10 minutes to arrive and they carried the boy out in a straitjacket, still babbling and screaming about the faces. He would spend the rest of his life in an asylum, constantly screaming and gnashing at invisible faces around his head, reduced to little more than a gibbering madman.

The producer who found him immediately went to destroy the tape, telling himself never to let an outsider be their test viewer ever again. But as he left the room, he heard a voice call out….. and when he turned……

He saw what looked like both Joshua and Rainbow Dash looking at him from inside the screen, tears in their eyes…. saying just 3 simple words……

“Friendship……. Isn’t…….. Magic….”
Credit To – Meowth
Credit Link – joshsphillips@hotmail.com

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21 Comments

  1. Second MLPasta in one day? Jeez, get some original content.

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    Rating: 4.2/5 (5 votes cast)
  2. This… Wasn’t very bad. But it wasn’t good neither.

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    Rating: 4.0/5 (4 votes cast)
  3. *either. Damn.

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (3 votes cast)
  4. If only this happened to me.

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    Rating: 2.0/5 (7 votes cast)
  5. For suresies not bad. In fact, the writing was fine, but the plot was unbelievable, been-done, and at times nonsensical. I liked it at first, but the ending really made it unenjoyable.

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    Rating: 4.0/5 (4 votes cast)
  6. I hated it all the way through. Kill it… Kill it with fire.

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    Rating: 4.0/5 (8 votes cast)
  7. What is this.

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    Rating: 3.7/5 (3 votes cast)
  8. Oh look, Squidward’s Suicide, only with ponies.

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (7 votes cast)
  9. Write this about a show you AREN’T obsessed with. It seems like, while you have a better “lost episode” story than most, you just want to talk ponies with somebody.

    Also, I’m confused as to where the tape came from, if the producers gave it to him.

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    Rating: 4.8/5 (4 votes cast)
  10. pee oh en why pee ass tar.

    wow, the ‘pee’s, ‘why’, and ‘ass’ in that when I break down the name actually describes them pretty well.

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    Rating: 3.7/5 (3 votes cast)
  11. “Now as much as Joshua loved having Dash looking at him,”

    This is kinda creepy. If you are over 8 years old, stop watching My Little Pony.
    The fact teenagers watch this is the only thing frightening about this pasta. But it is better then most ponypastas.

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    Rating: 3.3/5 (9 votes cast)
  12. Not bad. Wasn’t great, wasn’t awful either. Bonus points for not uttering the phrase, “hyper realistic”.

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (5 votes cast)
  13. Friendship is Crappy right here, Derpbutt.

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    Rating: 4.2/5 (5 votes cast)
  14. “The episode started, showing the Mane 6 characters huddled around in the Everfree Forest.”

    Anyone else notice that the author misspelled main?

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    • It’s a Brony meme or something, adressing the main characters of MLP as “The Mane Six”.

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      Rating: 5.0/5 (2 votes cast)
  15. You enjoy having Rainbow Dash look at you? Well, there’s more evidence for my Theory of Fetishes.

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    Rating: 3.8/5 (5 votes cast)
  16. I love how he said that mlp was “legendary”

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    Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
  17. This isn’t really bad!!!! Was this put here just because it’s ponypasta?

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    Rating: 1.7/5 (6 votes cast)
    • Yes, pony pasta is a shortcut to this site because well, every single one I’ve read has been horrid.

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  18. Are you sure you’re not a brony, anonymous?
    Also look at the categories and you’ll see what I mean

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)

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