CRAPPYPASTA

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Giraffes

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My obsession with giraffes began after I met Nathan. I couldn’t understand it… At the time it was so irrational. Before I knew him, he seemed strange, something that reminds me if myself. So, naturally, I became friends with him. Only later did he say anything about giraffes.
He invited me to his house one day, and I had nothing to do, so of course I said yes. When I went into his room, it was filled with them. The long-necked creatures were decorated on the walls. When I confronted him about them, he said nothing much about it, although I could tell he had a passion for the animal.
“Did you know there’s actually eleven different species of giraffes?”
Of course, I had not. I politely said no, and we continued our sleepover. We played charades (he did a giraffe or giraffe-related thing every time), truth or dare (also giraffe related), until I finally worked up the courage to tell him to cut it out with the giraffes.
He seemed visibly deflated, but obeyed. The rest of the sleepover was a drag. I was so glad to leave.
When I went home, I had a dream. It was about giraffes. They were doing people things, and played around in a circus. It was the best dream I had ever had.
I awoke with a particular fondness for… giraffes. It all seemed clear. I felt bad about telling him that he needed to cut it out. I called his phone.
No answer.
I felt a strong need to talk to him about it, so I ran to his house, a few blocks away. When I turned around to the street he lived in, I stopped, in my tracks.
Police cars. Police cars everywhere. I could pick up a few phrases from the cops, something like “the kid killed his parents.”
Oh, crap. Nathan?
My friend was in a police car, smiling. He was mouthing a few words I could not discern. I looked into the house’s garage, as I had walked closer to the house, touching the police tape line.
His parents were dead, in the garage. The garage door was open, almost as if Nathan was showcasing his masterpiece. His masterpiece… His masterpiece was his parents dead, organs extended from their cut heads, looking like they were giraffes…

Giraffes. My favorite animal. Nathan showed me what I needed to do. Now I stand, above my parents, showing the world my masterpiece. The cops rip me away from my victims. I don’t speak it, just mouth it softly…
“Giraffes…”
Credit To – Fumbles Powers

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Giraffes, 5.5 out of 10 based on 33 ratings
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16 Comments

  1. Oh, boy. Nothing quite like an infatuation with giraffes to induce an act of parricide.

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    Rating: 4.9/5 (8 votes cast)
  2. “My obsession with giraffes began after I met Nathan.” Mmkay that’s really weird.

    “We played charades (he did a giraffe or giraffe-related thing every time), truth or dare (also giraffe related), until I finally worked up the courage to tell him to cut it out with the giraffes.” This kid must have mental problems………

    “His masterpiece… His masterpiece was his parents dead, organs extended from their cut heads, looking like they were giraffes…” Well I was right about the mental problems,but why?

    The cops rip me away from my victims. I don’t speak it, just mouth it softly…
    “Giraffes…” Ok that was easily the stupidest and most baffling thing I’ve read in a while.

    I don’t know how someone could think of something this stupid,but I can say with almost complete certainty that this is a troll. -5/10

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    Rating: 4.7/5 (6 votes cast)
    • It wasn’t a troll pasta, I just wanted to see how people would react to a little story in my messed up head.

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      Rating: 2.1/5 (7 votes cast)
  3. Coming up next on My Strange Addiction…

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    Rating: 4.9/5 (12 votes cast)
  4. I’m pretty sure that this isn’t troll and that the author has a sexual attraction to giraffes.

    1/10 and assigned to Giraffe Keter duty.

    Giraffe doesn’t even look like a word to me anymore.

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (11 votes cast)
  5. There once was a boy named Nate
    Who thought all giraffes were top-rate.
    Then I guess he went nuts,
    Stretched his parents’ neck guts,
    And then my folks suffered the same fate!

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (14 votes cast)
  6. Aww, little giraffes doing people things. How sweeet!

    This is one of the stupidest stories I’ve read on here for a while. Don’t be proud of that author if you’re a troll. It was a poor effort at parody, creepy and trolling.

    A shrug of the shoulders and move a long to deflate the ego of the next crappypasta author.

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    Rating: 4.2/5 (5 votes cast)
  7. Giraffes, huh?
    All righty then!

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    Rating: 4.8/5 (5 votes cast)
  8. 8/10 just because I had a good laugh after reading this kids pasta.

    This is like comparing canned ravioli to homemade cheese ravioli in a rich meat sauce.

    Try again, but this time put the TIME and EFFORT into it.

    Just like making ravioli from SCRATCH it takes work.

    Don’t rush it!

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    Rating: 4.3/5 (3 votes cast)
    • This story wasn’t meant to be long. I am a Not-Quite-Micropasta-But-Still-Extremely-Short kind of person. Y’know?

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      Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
  9. I kinda liked it… it was unique at least.

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    Rating: 3.0/5 (1 vote cast)
  10. Giraffes… Giraffes? Is this what happens when I leave Crappypasta for a bit? Giraffe stories? How is this scary? This is so stupid… *sigh.*

    The best thing about this story is Yossarian’s comment. I actually smiled at that.

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  11. I gave this an 8/10 because I laughed so hard at the last line I almost wet myself.

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    Rating: 3.0/5 (1 vote cast)
  12. Actually, 5/10 for hilarity (because this wasn’t actually troll) and originality – and also, I like your attitude, so I’ll try to write a legitimate critique. (Scrolled through too many posts that read something like “MY STORY WAS AWESOME HOW DARE YOU WRITE THESE REVIEWS BLARGH”.) There just isn’t enough here, and the main problem is that it’s hard to make a legitimate horror story out of…giraffes – the originality is nice, but it just can’t work. And “kid killed his parents” was a little out of the blue as well. In general: Keep writing, make sure to put enough foreshadowing in, detail is your friend, and make your plot really go somewhere. It’s possible to get away without following setup–>problems–>big problem–>resolution, but you should start from there to make sure you can do it.

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  13. I thought it was kinda funny. Giraffes.

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    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)

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