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Heartless Hime

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Policemen and firefighters can’t figure out why the house was cursed with blood, all they could see was nothing but a body and the stench of a  newly dead body. Nobody could figure it out, no one had a clue. One key was missing, but what possibly. A young girl, age of 7 could tell her terrifying tale. The girl say as she touched the slightly torn neck in which she bandaged it. She looked at at the investigators with shaken eyes. She opened her mouth to tell her story.

“I was having a sleepover with my two friends, Tenma Hime (a 14 year old) and little anne (a 8 year old) They were my neighbors. My friend Anne decided to go to the bathroom. Me and Tenma looked at each other boringly, it felt awkward, you know, having a 14 year old in my room and all looking at me and staying at my house. She broke the awkwardness by saying…”

“I’ll go check on ANNE.” She walked away and I grabbed my stuffed pig. I heard the bathroom door close an it was about 20 minutes before I decided to check for myself. I placed my hand on the handle when I suddenly heard hysterical laughed in the bathroom and I quickly opened the door. I made the worst mistake. I trembled and screamed when I saw the blood everywhere in the bathroom. I felt a quick sting and a towering human stand infront of me, holding a bloody knife. It was Tenma but she looked diffrent. She grabbed my through and threw me against the bedroom wall as she ran toward me, I could tell it was her by height but I definently could say it was REALLY her, a sudden burst opened the door and to my surprise another scary person had come in, his face this time was super white and his mouth was torn, something black was around his eyes, I screamed, terrifed. My best friend was a psyco and apparently she had another pysco friend. I’m so terrified when both of em said “GO TO SLEEP.” And it all when black. I woke up and found myself in the hospital. Anxious to know what happened to Anne and frantically asked, they said she died of cuts, and bleeding. A murder they said. I remembered who it was. I could tell them her name though, because it truly wasn’t her. So I came up with a fake name. “H-Heartless… Heartless Hime…” They asked what she looked like. I closed my eyes in hope to remember what she looked like, it came to me. I said with an eerie voice…

“Purple shirt, a tooken out eye, a blue black and red eye, white hair. A  black shaped hear on her shirt that spilled out blood, gray skirt, purple and gray striped socks, and black boots.”

They asked so much questions I threw aside but now, I wish I answered them. “Thank you miss Isabel” An Investigator said. “Thank you, you were a real help.”

We never did figure out these killings or who the lady was, but that name will be written in the books of unsolved mysteries, but we know one of the people named JEFF THE KILLER, we now know that he has a secret friend named HEARTLESS HIME. And with that we must close this unsolved case in our book of red.
Credit To – Tenma Hime
Credit Link - http://www.facebook.com/#!/tenma.hime

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4 Comments

  1. Look, everyone wants to be a psycho killer like Jeff every now and again, but they *don’t* want to read self-indulgent fan fiction on the subject. Heartless Hime has a nice ring to it, I’ll admit, but why make her nothing more than Jeff’s two-dimensional buddy? Give her her own back story and motivation – why does she suddenly become a murderer? Then you won’t need Jeff as a prop
    Also, try to imagine your scenes clearly, I found the action hard to visualize. Finally, Check Your Spelling (definently? terrifed?), and be careful with verb conjugation, keeping both your tenses consistent and avoiding things like “tooken” (that’s not a word).

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  2. ‘Hime’ means ‘princess’ in japanese.

    WOW I WONDER IF SHE COULD POSSIBLY BE A MARY-SUE.

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    • Of course not. That would be silly…

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    • You never fail to make me laugh, Operator.

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