ETA: You guys suggested some kick-ass names, so I’ve gone ahead and created the new categories and will be using them as the opportunities present themselves. I hope that you like the summaries for them! I’ve added the new categories to the list below, and changed the title of this announcement to reflect that it’s now just the request for aid in tagging old posts with new categories. Thanks for all the help, guys!
Also, I feel a bit guilty asking for help on this, but as previously mentioned the antibiotics that I’m currently on have made me stupidly tired (I slept for 16 hours today and probably could have kept going, honestly) so I’m going to do it anyway – for those of you who like to re-read deep into the site’s archives, if you see an older post that you think should belong to one of the newer categories, would you mind dropping a comment on it & letting me know? It would be really appreciated.
For reference, the newer categories are as follows:
- Pasta Poseur: For some inexplicable reason, some people seem to confuse the submission form with their personal diary. Submitting a not-creepy-at-all ramble about your how misunderstood you are, middle school rage, love life problems, mean parents, etcetera and so forth – doing this is utterly pointless because such things have no chance in hell at making it on the main site. If you need a place to vent, create a livejournal or tumblr or something, don’t clog up my inbox with stuff that has absolutely no relevancy to creepypasta.
- …And Then?: If a pasta just suddenly stops without any satisfying conclusion, it will most likely be tagged with this category. While it’s true that you generally want to leave your readers wanting more, skipping out on a proper ending isn’t the right way to go about accomplishing this!
- Part Two – CANCELED: Closely related to the previous category, but somehow even more annoying. If you can’t be bothered to finish your pasta, maybe you also shouldn’t bother submitting it. Multiple part pastas are only accepted on the very rare occasion that there’s actually a point to having the story broken up into multiple episodes, and even then I won’t consider it unless you send me the ENTIRE THING. Scribbling down some half-assed nonsense and calling it “part one” because you cannot even make the effort to finish your story is a quick route to rejection.
- Great Wall Of Pasta: A sub-category of Lazy Writing. Paragraphs are your friends.
- Just Say No To Journal Entries: A sub-category of Lazy Writing. It’s all fine and dandy if you’re using the journal style for an important atmospheric purpose, but this category is for people who are using it as a crutch so that they don’t have to bother writing scene transitions. Unfortunately, this applies to almost every single journal style submission. JUST SAY NO.
- You Didn’t Even Try At All: If you got this tag, it meant that the lack of effort was so obvious and ridiculous that you don’t even get the YOU TRIED gold star. Because clearly, you didn’t put any thought or effort into your pasta at all. Why did you even submit this?
- Pottymouth: We don’t really care if you swear in your pastas, as long as you don’t take it to one of two extremes. If you scored this tag, you either used so much profanity that it became distracting, or you self-censored yourself (sh*t, F***, etc) and made your pasta seem more silly than scary. Category & name suggested by Shogunfish.
- Lost On Purpose: ”Lost Episode” pastas are very rarely successful. The vast majority of them tend to reuse the same boring aspects (hyper-realistic images, mindless blood and gore, mysterious animators) without adding anything new and interesting to the recipe. Beyond that, most Lost Episodes simply aren’t that scary. It was a novel idea when Dead Bart and Squidward’s Suicide first started circulating around the internet; now the Lost Episode genre has been absolutely flooded with lazy, uninspired copypastas. If you got this tag, you reminded us that some things should stay lost. Category suggested by Derpula Stevens, name suggested by Yossarian.
- Red Ring of Dumb: Another overdone style of pasta is the “Haunted Cartridge” – where the author takes their game of choice and describes “unusual” things happening when they try to play the game. When done well, this style of pasta can be quite good. Unfortunately, quality tends to be the exception rather than the rule. Failure to adequately bring the reader into the game’s world, overuse of cliches and a lack of any actual fear factor tend to plague these pastas. If you earn this tag, consider your console privileges revoked. Category suggested by Earthcub12, name suggested by Shogunfish.
- Shameful Spin-Offs: This tag is received when you’re clearly trying to create the next big monster meme, but you couldn’t even be bothered to put more than a second’s thought into doing so. This category is where you’ll find such gems as “Grin Cat” or “[Insert Name] the Killer” – incredibly obvious rip-offs of already established Creepypasta characters. If you’ve received this tag, you have brought shame upon your family. Go sit in the corner until you’ve learned to be a bit more creative.
- AAAAND IN THIS CORNER!: The world would be a better place without Jeff the Killer meeting Slenderman and then teaming up to fight The Rake and then adopting Smile Dog while they play Pokemon Black… and any other similarly crap-tastic crossovers aren’t necessary, either. Stop trying to make it happen. We do not, in fact, wish to get ready to rumble. You cannot make us. Name & category suggested by Shogunfish.
- Aaahh!!! Lame Monsters: A sub-category of Copypasta. If you were obviously attempting to create the next big meme bait Creepypasta monster and it didn’t quite work out, you’ll end up with this tag. We’re not opposed to new entities; by all means, something needs to dethrone Slenderman and Jeff. But to do so, they’ve got to be excellent. This tag is home to those attempts that are… not quite there yet. Category suggested by Shogunfish, name suggested by Stephan D. Harris.
I hope that this post doesn’t come off as too demanding/greedy, and if any of you do decide to help me with this, know that you are very much appreciated. Thanks for your time!Add this crappypasta to your list of favorites!