CRAPPYPASTA

For those pastas that are smelling less than fresh…


Insomniac

| 1 Comment

Monday, April 4,

I roll over and check my alarm clock, it says its 3:04, I say it’s broken. I roll out of bed, with the thought that if I can’t sleep, I might as well do something. The computer desk calls my name, but I hold back, my data usage is over by a gigabyte and a half and I don’t have the money to pay for anything more. Then a thought comes to my head; ‘Hey, maybe if you read something really boring, you’ll fall asleep!’ Couldn’t hurt to try, so I walk over to the bookshelf and pull off ‘The Autobiography of John Smith” The most boring book I know of to date, I sit down in the comfiest chair I can find and begin to read. It didn’t work.

Friday, April 8,

Four days later, and I still haven’t caught any sleep, and I’ve decided that even trying to catch any is about as futile as trying to catch an eel that’s been doused in silicon lubricant. In the past two days I’ve developed a caffeine and vitamin B12 addiction just to make it through work. I finished the autobiography last night, and plan to find something even more boring tonight, that, and a bottle of sleep aids that I bought from the drugstore this morning.

Saturday, April 9,

None of it worked! I went home and took that entire bottle of sleep aids and what did I get? Nothing but a stomachache! I did pushups, pull-ups, and curl-ups until even the thought of moving hurt, but no sleep came. I couldn’t get to the bookshelf from my spot on the floor, so I just stared at it, trying to will a book towards me. That didn’t work either, so I gave after a minute and just lay there like a slug.

Saturday, April 16,

No sleep. Haven’t slept. At this rate I don’t think I’ll ever sleep again. I’ve been starting to think that someone has done this to me, because this can’t be some freak quirk of nature, right? I think it’s someone at work too, I ate lunch there every day, and it could’ve been so easy just to slip something into it. Needless to say, I didn’t go back this week, and I won’t go back next week either. Who knows what those creeps will think of next.

Tuesday, April 19,

I saw my grandmother today, pretty odd considering she’s been dead since I was fourteen. But, oddness aside, we had a nice chat about the weather. She left a plate of cookies behind, they taste like sawdust and sand, but they were made with love, so I ate them all.

Wednesday, April 20,

Those creeps at the office sent me an email, wondering where I was and how I was doing. Pretty pretentious of them, seeming as they were the ones poisoning me. Idiots. So I unplugged my computer and threw it in the trash, they can’t email me there.

Thursday, April 21,

People have been showing up at my door all day long! Asking how I’ve been, where I’ve been, what I’ve been, who I’ve been. I just slam the door in their faces; they’re all a part of it. All of them are part of this inane plot to drive me insane. Well, its not working, and it’s not gonna’ work, I know what you’re doing! HA! But, I boarded up all the doors and windows anyway, just in case. You can never be too careful ya’ know.

????

All of the clocks are broken, doesn’t matter though, I don’t sleep anymore anyway. None of the lights work either, probably just another part of this scheme to send me to the madhouse so they can lay claim to all of my stuff. Yeah, that’s what they want, my stuff….

????

I burned it all, all of it. All of my clothes, my money, my electronics, anything worth a dime. It’s all a pile of ashes in the fireplace now. Their plan can’t succeed now! No way it can, I don’t own anything anymore! Ha HA, ha…he…he…. Whatever. They can’t hear me anyway.

I took all of the bottles out of the medical cabinet… today? Tonight? I don’t know anymore, don’t care either. It all as to end somehow. I got the knives out too, just in case. Can’t ever be too careful ya’ know.

Credit To – C. Bobier
Credit Link – http://www.terrortortellini.com/insomniac-t1584.html

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate This Pasta
Rating: 8.3/10 (6 votes cast)
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)
Insomniac, 8.3 out of 10 based on 6 ratings
FavoriteLoadingAdd this crappypasta to your favorites

One Comment

  1. He’d be dead by the 16th.. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t creepy, nor was it original. Your writing is decent. Scrap this one and try again.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 3.0/5 (1 vote cast)

Leave a Reply

Required fields are marked *.