She’s really pretty, everyone at my highschool would think. She was popular, and in the open. Then she hid. She cried day and night, telling her friends she was ugly and worthless because I- Evan Mathews- dumped her.
Personally, I saw her as a disgusting pig. Her eyes beady and droopy, her hair limp and greasy. Her skin was ashy and grey.
Crazy, I was crazy to them all. They told me she was beautiful. They told me I was a horrible person.
She told me horrible things. She was pretty, then after every story of death she told, her eyes would go smaller. Her breath would smell rank.
Is she scratching me? Oh yes she scratches.
Disgusting.
She’s terrifying.
Ugly! Ugly!
Her skin is thinning, the last time I saw her. She sends me pictures everyday of herself. She only shows me.
Life dwindling. I can hear our song. Isn’t she lovely?
Her hair is growing fuller, though.
Beauty is a simple but harsh thing.
She’s suddenly covered in scabs.
Killing me with her ugliness.
Oh god, those scratches.
Her skin…are those patches?
Beauty is not in her favor.
Scratch, scratch, scratch.
Her! skull is coming through.
They say she’s beautiful.
Have they seen her?
Life dwindling, Isn’t she wonderful?
She is beautiful in a way I suppose.
Doesn’t beauty come from the inside?
She has such beautiful cheekbones, white bone.
Is she really that gross?
Lifeless was I to see her as a monster.
Isn’t she lovely?
Beauty is in her favor
Deadly beautiful!
She’s personally crazy
She is disgusting
She’s ugly!
Her life
Her beauty
She’s killing…
Oh her beauty!
Scratch her!
They have life…
She doesn’t..
She is lifeless
Isn’t beauty deadly?
Isn’t she lovely…Isn’t she wonderful…

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January 28, 2013 at 2:39 am
I hate it when I read something like this that actually has an interesting plot nugget in it that is executed so poorly. The idea that the narrator sees this popular beautiful girl differently from everyone else could be really cool. Is the narrator crazy? Is he seeing her true form? But this thing is so scattershot. It doesn’t know whether it’s coming or going. And then it sort of morphs into a poem-like thing at the end… It had some potential, but it didn’t really go anywhere.
May 18, 2013 at 3:57 pm
I agree with you. It could be very good it done correctly.
March 9, 2013 at 9:13 pm
Wait…what..?