CRAPPYPASTA

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Jeff Vs Freddy Krueger

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Jeff travels to elm street trying to find more victims for his pleasure and delight Walking down the fresh rained road his footsteps causing small splashes in the puddles as he begins to sing a song “Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep precious victim, nighty night, nighty night, pray to god the hell hounds don’t bite” he sees three little girls jumping rope as a his eyes light up with fire as he slowly begins to stalk towards them his knife drawn, but stops in mid step as if frozen in time he listens carefully to a song that they sing that he knows all to well.

“1 2 Freddy’s coming for you, 3 4 better lock your door, 5 6 better grab your crucifix, 7 8 better stay up late, 9 10 never sleep again” just then a figure appears out of Jeff’s shadow a low unholy laugh escapes the figure’s lips, Jeff turns around his ever lasting smile still on his face but deep down the figure knows he is not amused.
“So your the famous Jeff the killer huh” the figure replies a snarl on his face.
“And you must be the Infamous freddy Krueger,not a fan and most importantly not amused by your work”
“What is that suppose to mean you little maggot” Freddy barks
“Well first of all your all burnt and fugly as hell and 2 you got your ass kicked by several girls and a little boy. You’re suppose to be a dream DEMON not a dream FAIRY” Jeff laughs

Freddy begins to walk slowly around Jeff who remains unfazed by the dream killer, after about 5 minutes freddy is the first to speak up.
“So how about a little wager huh lets see who dies first”
“Be my guest sunshine, how about you make the first move but please try not to die quickly I want to savor this kill for it will be my greatest ever to be able to help the very dream demon that killed so many people go to….SLEEP” Jeff cackles as he draws his knife.

Freddy lunges at Jeff who dodges his attack with ease and kicks freddy in the ass which causes Freddy to fall onto his face and tumble, Freddy gets up and dusts himself off an evil snear makes itself present on Freddy’s face
“Time to take this to my home” Freddy laughs as they are transported to the dream world.

“Oh this world seems wonderful so dark so damp and full of despair and pain….I think I shall take over this place once I kill you Freddy don’t worry I will take good care of it”
“No fucking way you will ever beat me in my own HOME!!!” Freddy says stabbing Jeff in the back, blood gushes from Jeff’s stomach as he looks down and sees 4 blades from Freddy’s claws coming out from his stomach which causes him to only laugh and look back at Freddy who now has a worried look on his face.
“Was that your best trick? if not then please try harder I can take more” Jeff laughs maniacally.
“W…What the fuck are you?!” Freddy screams as he pulls his claw from Jeff and tries to stab him again but Jeff turns around and stares deep into the eyes of Freddy, all Freddy can see in Jeff’s black eyes is Pain….and Death.

“See Freddy the difference between me and you is, your a dream demon…I am I guess u can call me the devil’s favorite demon, 2 I don’t fear you, and 3 you are just a BAD dream, me I’m am the fuckin black plague, shit I AM THE APOCALYPSE….so please lay down….AND GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP” Jeff laughs as he launches himself at Freddy.

Credit To – the MADD HARE

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17 Comments

  1. Fred would kick Jeff’s butt any day. But for real, stop making scary people fight each other. Freddy vs. Jason was cool, though.

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  2. And then the flying space raptors came.
    They couldn’t deal with the SHITTY character fights anymore. Not this time, either. So they took out their anti-stupidity cannon that fired brains into people at the speed of nyan cat. Then they realized, maybe some people were meant to be stupid. You can’t force intelligence into idiots, you have to teach them.
    BUT YOU CAN’T FUCKING TEACH DUMBASSES!

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    • well, an infestor’s neural parasite means that they can force anyone to do what they want, including making them go to school?

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  3. “You’re suppose to be a dream DEMON not a dream FAIRY” Just look at that… I suggest the “not sure if troll” tag, as well as “…And then?” because it doesn’t really have an ending either.

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  4. Oh, joy. We’ve ran out of memes and are moving onto film characters now. What’s after horror movies? Maybe talk show hosts? Celebrity chefs? We could have “Slenderman & Bill O’Reilly: a Love Story” or “Jeff Vs. Gordon Ramsay”. Would you like that? Does that sound good to you?

    And Jeff is a fucking human. Having some bleach poured over your head, being set on fire, and murdering people does not make you invincible. Do you think that if Fred West or Adam Lanza had a demon punch four blades through their stomach they’d just laugh it off, shit-talk for a little bit, and then slaughter the aforementioned demon?

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    • “Jeff Vs. Gordon Ramsay”

      I kind of want to read this, to be honest.

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      • Something tells me there would be a lot of screaming.

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      • Want to know a secret? I’d kind of like to see that, too. Ramsay would yell at Jeff for incorrectly using a kitchen knife and Jeff would apologize, gaze downcast and feet shuffling.

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      • Yes, I think that’d make a fantastic parody pasta. I think it’s highly likely that it’d end up in pottymouth though!

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      • “This kid is over-cooked! His hair is singed so bad, it makes me sick! You really think that is how you use a knife? Pathetic!”

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      • oh my fucking god someone PLEASE write this, i will give you all the money in my back pocket!

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  5. The book, as read by Samuel L Jackson, “Go the fuck to sleep,” comes to mind. This is not even in the same league. This is what crap poops after a bad meal.

    1/10 – downvoted

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  6. cool story and it ended just right freedy couldn’t kill Jeff because Jeff wasent afraid and Freddy gets his power from fear so Jeff 1 Freddy 0

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    • *jabs a neural parasite spike in your pack and forces you to go to school*

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  7. Okay, first of all Freddy(My home boy) Wold beat the crap out of Jeff,,, NOW please learn how to type Jeff The Killer right and also… Freddy wouldn’t ask Jeff who he was, he was just beat him to death. Freddy is better then that, so The MADD HARE go in the corner and think about your life and how to make it better and learn that Jeff is like a 16 year old who is a Joker reject and Freddy is a ‘Killing Beast’. Thanks.

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    • if i remember correctly you have to be afraid of freedy for him to kill you and the last time i checked jeff dosent fear anything he is a mad man he kills because its fun and because he can hell there was one story where he kicked slender mans as but you do make a few good points the way both of them acted was wrong they wouldnt have spoken to each other the both would have just started slashing at each other

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  8. “3 you are just a BAD dream”
    yea, im hoping this will just be a bad dream when I wake up…
    “me I’m am the fuckin black plague”
    he IS a fucking plague, a plague of shit fan fiction and fan girls

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