CRAPPYPASTA

For those pastas that are smelling less than fresh…


The Masked Mystery

| 9 Comments

Do you like the dark?
well I am pleased if you do.
question is, are you aware of what the dark is made of?
of course you would answer “the darkness or the insufficient light”
but tell you what…

that is not all…

do you feel safe at this very moment?
do you think you’re alone?
well guess what, you aren’t.
there is something or…”someone” watching you.
and that someone is me.
konnichiwa, watashi no namae wa Masuku No Nazu desu.
let me translate, “Hello, My name is Masked mystery or Masuku No Nazu.”
i am simply watching you at this very instant from your window..oh! im right beside you now, but if you turn around i’ll be gone.

you cannot hear me.
you cannot see me but soon you will.
you cannot touch me but i can.
but you can feel my presence, the cold, the darkness and the moon light from your window.

i shall tell my story soon…
I assure you,
you’re not safe.
you are definitely not protected.
everyone and you are gonna disappear soon.
you cannot escape me because i am the dark.
i am your guardian angel and devil because i can make you see heaven or hell right now if i wish to.

wait till midnight and you shall feel my presence but much more stronger.
it doesn’t matter if your house is well lighten because when there is light, there is also darkness lurking.

OH AND…. I SEE YOU

let me sing you your one last lullaby that you’ll hear…

“Everything is not what it seems to be..

Everything is good except for me..

my goal is to simply find you,

and maybe annihilate you too..

I hope you sleep well tonight

i shall see you in midnight,

i’m watching every step you take

and every single move you make..

Look around you and you might see

Something black which is me…

Oh dear sweet child that lay awake look at the time,

it’s almost midnight, soon the clock shall chime.

Children tonight, peacefully sleeps.

sad people tonight, stay up and weeps.

I shall roam the darkened street..

Killing people that i shall meet..

I am haunting your dreams…

delightfully enjoying your screams..

How fun this insane world is…

There shall be no person alive that i will miss..

Turn off your lights and fall asleep..

Good night, you’ll never wake up in your endless sleep..

till next time i’ll see you”

Goodnight…

Sleep tight…

I will kill you at midnight…

Credit To – Masuku No Nazu

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate This Pasta
Rating: 3.1/10 (35 votes cast)
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: -19 (from 21 votes)
The Masked Mystery, 3.1 out of 10 based on 35 ratings
FavoriteLoadingAdd this crappypasta to your favorites
  • Surly

    Why was there a random line of Japanese in the middle, apparently done with Google translate because that isn’t how “Mask of Mystery” would be said in Japanese?

    Ah well, I’m more amused by the random (unintentional?) quote from The Police’s ‘Every Breath You Take’ and the part where the darkness touches itself.

  • http://killthekillers.tumblr.com Ahriannah

    This deserves Poe-Try again.

    And Derp is it possible to get a tag for all of these wanna be Japanese otako here?

    So here is my bead on this. This was by far the worst lullabye ever. I couldnt help but read it as the Stalker Anthem. Every step you take….And I cannot get it out of my head that way.

    Putting in some random Japanese is pointless. It only distracts from the story. If you want to write a Anime Fan Fiction I suggest;

    Gaiaonline.com
    Fanfiction.net

    If there is no back ground for your character in Japan giving him a japanese name is pointless and annoying.

    Please stop hitting enter after every sentance. I know that you dont want to be classified as a great wall of pasta, but this is kind of bad…well not kind of, but im trying to be nice.

  • Alfred Frederick Dinglebottom

    I really hope that was a troll attempt.

    You need to use capital letters at the start of a new sentence, you’re structuring is dreadful and rather amateurish.

    1/10 and a downvote.

  • Demonicus

    “Everything is good in this world, except for me.”

    You tell yourself that, mate.

    Look, the formating of this story is just… so vaugue. At first (Without reading it) I thought it was going to be another Majora’s mask pasta. When it started, I thought it was a nice intro to help the build up to your creature and characters. I sad to find out this was that type of pasta where the writer is the being and is taunting us on how they are going to kill us. The idea’s are there (I love my Japanese monsters) but the execution dragged it down. Give characters to interact with the creature, give a setting and storyline revealing this creature and for god’s sakes; give the creature something more than: “I am going to kill you in your sleep”

    2/10 and downvote.

  • http://misspleasant-on-excitement.blogspot.com/ Jessica

    Boring. I couldn’t finish it. It’s difficult reading a pasta with a gap between every line, please don’t do that. And asking questions in a story? Not really a good idea.

  • Her Grace Killjoy Rainbow

    I’d like to address the most obvious issues first. You need to capitalize the first letter of the sentence. That’s really something you should have learned in primary school, and we who read Creepypasta would appreciate if you could maintain that standard.
    Secondarily, why does your character speak Japanese? It’s okay if she’s from Japan, or a relative is, or she likes the culture, okay. But please don’t make her speak Japanese to make her seem “cooler”. It just makes everyone fed up with you.
    So, why do we fear the slender man, or the rake? It’s because they are unknown. We have no rational justification for their existence, and yet, we know enough about them to copy and paste them into our own lives. Miss Mystery is an unknown, yes, but she lacks the latter characteristics. We know she is a bilingual female entity that dwells in the shadows and wants us dead, but how does that apply to us, really? There isn’t any sense of realism, and I can’t really instruct you on how to add it; you’ll have to do that for yourself. Best of luck with your Masked Mystery!

  • Blue Fox

    Well, you just have to read the above comments to know what’s wrong with your story (and I strongly recommend you take the advice that’s been offered to you). There’s really nothing else I can add. I will point out, though, that if you’re going to sink low enough to plagiarise something, pick something that’s considerably less well-known than “Every Breath You Take” by The Police. A small number of us are aware of its existence.

    Oh, and having your characters speak in Japanese for absolutely no reason does not make them mysterious or deep or interesting in any way, shape or form. Since you immediately translate it for us there’s no point in including it. You might as well replace it with “Hey everyone I’m totally cool and smart, and I have an unhealthy fascination with the West’s perception of Japanese culture. Please be impressed.” In other words, it’s irritating and desperate as hell.

    Pay attention to the advice you’ve gotten here and rewrite your story with it in mind. There’s no guarantee it’ll be good, but it’ll be better than it is now.

  • namethatman

    I don’t have a window in my room.
    Your move?

  • FellowZerglingWithShoes

    I see you tried to make it creepy, but it didn’t work out because of the random Japanese, the grammatical errors, and the fact that you are relying on people to be reading this to have a fear of the dark. The thing that really killed this story was talking to the viewer and threatening them instead of telling a story of someone who had this happen to them, and making it seem as though they could be next, but not directly telling them they are.


This website contains fictional content that may be too scary for younger readers. Please verify that you are either at least 18 years of age or have parental permission before proceeding.