Umm, I don’t know how this works, Im going to have a hard time putting my story into words, and I don’t want to, but I think I have too, for fear that something might happen to me.
My story begins about five weeks ago, I was on my laptop reading 4chan when my Mother comes into my room and says that her brother’s Cousin is coming to stay with us for a while. I was so deep into 4chan that I really wasn’t even listening.
So a few days later my Mom comes in and says my Cousin has arived and told me to come meet him, I walk into my living room where he was sitting, and the first thing to catch my eye, was his clothes, all white, white shirt, white pants, it was weird, and he had some weird symbol painted onto the front of his shirt . I said “Hey” and extended my arm to shake his hand, which he actually shrugged away from. My Mom showed him to his room, and that was the last I saw of him till later.
At dinner later that night, me, Dad, Mom, and my Cousin were all sitting at the table eating. My Cousin was just…there. He didn’t eat, drink, talk, or anything the entire time.
Sometime after that, I was sleeping, and I woke to this scratching. We didn’t have any pets, and we never had any rodent problems, so this was kinda freaky for me. I looked around, out the window, opened my door to find nothing, then I figured out that the scratching was coming from my Cousin’s room, which was next to mine. It goes on for 10 minutes or so, then it stops, and I go back to sleep a little creeped out.
Next morning, at breakfest, Mom was cooking breakfest, and Dad had left for his job. My Cousin just slouched into his chair at the table. Mom handed us breakfest and went into her room. I asked if he heard something the scratching, he just looked into space the entire time. I didn’t want to seem rude to him, so I asked him if he wanted to do something later, which he still said nothing, he just got up from the table and went back to his room.
I asked mom why my Cousin was staying here. “My Brother and his Wife’s house had burned down, and while they are getting a new place to live, they asked if He could live here for a bit, and I said yes” she said. “His house burned down? how’d that happen?” I asked, “He never said” and with that I said thanks and left to my room. I could understand why he seemed so depressed, his house burned down, probaly lost everything, id feel the same way if I lost all my things in a flash, I decided to hang out with him for a while, try to cheer him up.
I knocked on his door a few times, but he never answered, so I assumed he was sleeping.
At dinner it was the same thing as last night, didn’t do anything, or say anything. I asked if he wanted to play games on my laptop, which he said very quietly “Yes”. It was the first thing he said the entire time he was here, so I figure I had started to cheer him up.
I invited him to my room, and showed him a few games I had, he didn’t want to play any of them. He showed me a disc and I got the hint, that he wanted to play whatever was on there. So I put the disc into my laptop, and my screen instantly went to the game, it looked like the game was corrupted cause there was some mild interference in the game. The game itself was really odd, it basically was some character walking around a forest. He never told me what to do, so I tried to figure it out myself, but all I did the entire was walk through this seemingly never ending forest for god knows how many hours we played it. I asked him what the game was called, but he didn’t answer. i kept walking and walking through the forest till something caught my eye, this other person in the forest with me. He was far off in the distance, so I coulden’t see him to much. as soon as I started to walk towards him, he ran way faster then my character could keep up with him. After that there was nothing else, just more walking till I got so bored I quit the game, my Cousin didn’t seem to care. I tried to give him the disc back, but he didn’t want it, he said “keep it” very quietly, and walked back into his room. I was very confused at this point and when I looked at my clock, it was 11:34 at night. I coulden’t believe that It was so late at night, and I almost immediatly went to bed after putting the disc in my closet. Only to be woken up again by the scratching.

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July 27, 2012 at 1:42 am
…and then?
Honestly, a very good start, it just feels unfinished. Like you got tired of writing it and just decided to quit at the halfway point o.0
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July 27, 2012 at 4:46 am
I do think it has potential. But it’s under developed, and would be better being a longer pasta. I also like that the characters have personality, a lot of creepypasta stories don’t really have ‘characters’ like this one. Or though none of them have names, which bothers me.
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July 27, 2012 at 6:04 pm
For some reason the game that the main character plays makes me think of the Slenderman game, but more like he is playing it from the perspective of Slenderman. I do agree with the previous posters, looks like it needs to be a bit longer with some more fleshing out.
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July 28, 2012 at 1:19 pm
Alright so he has a depressed cousin, hears scratching, plays slender, and hears scratching again… Not creepy at all 4/10
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September 6, 2012 at 10:00 pm
Seems unfinished, like derpbutt said. I think it needs an explanation badly. Nothing gets explained at all, there’s no creepy finish. The pasta just kind of ends. I do get the feeling that the cousin had something to do with the house burning down, though. There’s promise, but it needs some work.
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November 10, 2012 at 3:49 am
I think the cousin was just emo.
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November 10, 2012 at 2:11 pm
Yaaayyy you used my catergory idea! whoop whoop
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November 21, 2012 at 5:13 pm
Hmm… You may want to try a "Part Two".
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November 24, 2012 at 4:43 pm
if the cousins emo he would wear darker colors.
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November 24, 2012 at 6:26 pm
No Aswerty, no one should ever try a part 2
Especially because if he submitted a part 2, part 1 wouldn’t be on the site. If he wants to do anything it needs to be a rewrite
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December 28, 2012 at 7:48 am
I was really disappointed when I reached the end, why would you just end it like that?
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