CRAPPYPASTA

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Am I Perfect Now?

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“Kill yourself you ugly bitch!” She snarls. I keep my eyes glued to the floor as her insults push me further and further to the edge of sanity. “What? Too scared to defend yourself?” She laughs. There is suddenly a strong stinging sensation of my left cheek and my eyes begin to water. What the fuck? She just slapped me! I can’t quite explain what happens next. There is a strong tugging feeling near my ribcage. Like something trying to break free. It’s like I’m not even in control of myself anymore. I begin giggling like a madman, “You just made a huge mistake.” I whisper, still staring at my feet. “What’s your fat ass going to do about it?” She cackles like witch and struts away with her gang of human Barbies. My smile grows wider until its almost painful. I take a glance at her sashaying away from me, her platinum blonde hair swinging from side to side. “You just made a huge mistake.” I whisper psychotically.

I hurry home to evaluate my plan. I could catch her while walking home from school. Nah, she always has her little clones trailing behind her wherever she goes. Or maybe I could set a trap baited with Ugg boots and Starbucks. I laugh bitterly at my own joke. I’ve got it! I’ll do the classic, sneak into her house and kidnap her while she is sleeping. The sides of my mouth twitch into a demonic grin. This is going to be fun.

I sneak up to the gates of her colossal mansion. After following her home for a few days, I manage to learn that her room is the third room on the left, of the second story. I secure my baseball bat I brought for knocking her out in my belt and creep up an enormous oak tree that stands conveniently near her window. I slither through her open window and walk up to her sleeping form. I raise the bat above my head but before I can bring it down on her head, her eyes snap open and her mouth widens in the beginning of a terrified scream. I quickly bring the bat down upon her skull and she goes limp. I drag her unconscious body out of the window and down the tree.

I see her begin to stir. She slowly opens her eyes and scans the dimly lit room frantically. she tries to move but I had strapped her into an old electric chair, used for executing high security prisoners so her hands, feet, torso and hear are secured down by leather straps. She then begins screaming and thrashing around. “Help! Someone help!” but it’s no use. We are miles from civilization in an old, abandoned prison. I slowly slip out of the shadows into the faint light with an evil smirk plastered to my face. Her body relaxes and she sighs with relief, “Thank god! Help me get out of here!” My smirk grows wider as I slowly drag my feet towards her. “Now why would I do that?” I ask with a menacing tone. Her face twists with confusion. “We’re just getting to the fun part.” I say, my smirk forms more into an evil scowl. “But-I-I-I don- don’t understand.” she stammers. I reach into my pocket and pull out a small dagger. Her face morphs from an expression of confusion to complete terror. “What are you doing?” She questions, her voice trembling. “Ugly.” I whisper as I draw the dagger up to her chin. “Freak.” I whisper, slightly louder than before. I press the knife into her flesh and slowly drag it around the outline of her face. She whimpers like a lost puppy. “Fat ass!” I practically yell. I then slowly start peeling away the perfect skin from her perfect face, starting with her forehead. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry I was ever mean to you! Please!” she wails, tears streaming down her face. But I am too far gone. I know I have already lost my mind. She has broken me. After years of torture, I finally get revenge. Once I succeed in peeling all of her perfect skin off, leaving her eyelids, she is completely motionless. Her face nothing but exposed tissue coated in a thick, red liquid. She’s not dead. But she is going to be. I wait for her to gain consciousness. As soon as she opens her perfect blue eyes, she screams in pure agony. Her screams are silenced by my knife slowly sliding into her skull.

After dumping her mutilated body in the river, I calmly walk home. I open the door to my ratty apartment and lumber to my freezer where I open the door and pull her decomposing face from my bag. I place it in the freezer and wait a few days. When I go back, it is completely frozen and preserved. I take it out of the freezer and walk to my bedroom. I pull out some super glue from my wooden dresser and spread t over the back of the skin. I then place the other humans face over my own and saunter to the mirror near my door. I gave upon myself and psychotically smile. Now I ask you, am I perfect now?
Credit To – Ella K

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Am I Perfect Now?, 2.4 out of 10 based on 43 ratings
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  • Rev

    This tale suffers due to its simplicity. The mean girl gets her comeuppance from the girl she bullied. That about sums it up the whole thing. There’s not really enough plot to justify the gore and keep the reader interested. Sometimes simplicity works, but not this time.

  • mudnose

    Well, this pasta has certainly earned a spot in the Stop forums. You could try and not make it so gruesome with the “face sheaving” and all of the attention towards the character.

  • Aelius Cato

    Am I a shitty and cliched character now? Yes, yes your are. The end.

    However if you were looking for more constructive criticism here it is. For one, the “poor me I was bullied so much bawww” angle has been take and done to death, so please don’t use it’s it’s not interesting, deep, or scary. You also used this far too early, so even if the was a decent plot device it wouldn’t have made much of a difference.

    The plot it’s self is hackneyed. Please tell where where you’ve heard this. Girl/boy get’s bullied. Then ether after, before, or during being bullied said girl/boy get’s a “special, tingling, burning, ect.” feeling. Then the protagonist murders the aforementioned bully plot device, and goes insane and continues murdering random people for no reason. Sound familiar? Like at least 50% of jeffpasta; the other half is jefferotica just in case you wanted to know.

    I’m not even going to give you a rating. Please stop wasting time with these stupid jeffpastas and write something original!

    • A Zergling (Wearing a Tophat)

      why did you put “jefferotica” into my mind… why?!?!
      *curls up in corner and cries, hugging tail, quietly sobbing; “get it out of my head… make it stop… stop!… why…”*

      • Aelius Cato

        You’re gonna have a hard time here.

        • Ahriannah

          Made me think of south park… You’re gonna have a bad time

  • Her Grace Killjoy Rainbow

    Why are all evil girls in these revenge stories blonde and skinny and gorgeous? Most of the mean girls I’ve ever known have been pudgy brunettes with no especially attractive features.

  • Moon Babe

    Obviously, this story is lacking a shit ton of things, but what irks me the most is how you jump from place to place with no explanation. Ex; she woke up strapped to an electric chair??? Like? How did you get to this jail? How did you know about it? How would an electric chair still work in an old abandon hospital? And the freezer thing? Does she not have parents? I mean c’mon now.

    • Guest

      It never said how old she is though. She may not be living with her parents anymore. Just a possibility.

  • Tanner

    Stereotypes… @Grace

  • Bulbasaur

    I don’t think being insulted a bunch by one person is going to logically drive them to murder

    • Vee

      Well it depends on whether or not the person has pre-existing conditions; schizophrenia, depression, etc. However you are right, most people don’t have these conditions at the level needed to just explode with gruesome desires.

  • Explosive Diarrhea Of The Soul

    It has been… fuck, probably three days now. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t speak. I can’t even take a shit.
    I have been sitting here in my chair, staring at the appropriately colored brown wall in front of me, attempting to comprehend the ancient and cryptic message displayed there. It is etched into my mind like Latin proverbs into marble statues of philosophers.
    I pray that God/Gods/Whatever will forgive my mortal soul for even daring to decode such unholy vocabulary; Vocabulary not meant for man to ever see.
    I shall sit here until my death…
    Until I figure out what the fuck “sashaying” is.

  • Entropy Temporal

    I have several problems with this pasta.

    I hurry home to evaluate my plan. I could catch her while walking home from school. Nah, she always has her little clones trailing behind her wherever she goes.

    -And then, theres

    I sneak up to the gates of her colossal mansion. After following her home for a few days, I manage to learn that her room is the third room on the left, of the second story.

    -I thought you said she has “her little clones” with her.

    -Then, you break into her house. I’ve never lived in a huge mansion, but I’m pretty sure that people that can afford mansions can also afford security systems, or, I don’t know, A LOCK.

    And then you knock her out and somehow drag her down a tree, which you have a electric chair under, inside of the room that I assume randomly materialized next to….Um…..Who the fuck is this girl, anyway? Next to (insert name here)’s house.

    Then she screams, but her parents must be deaf, because THEY ARE RIGHT NEXT TO HER HOUSE.

    Then, she wakes up, and you “drag your feet to her”.

    Then, you kill her and dump her body into the river, cut off her face, and freeze it and turn it into a mask…?

    “Now, I ask you, am I perfect now”?

    No. Nein. Non. Nu. Nem. Degil. Ei. Não. You will never be perfect as long as you write like this, OP.

  • http://orangelover02.wix.com/ballisticjunkfood SUPRSKURY

    No


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