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Pizza Clock

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Pizza Clock
A completely true story
About thirty years ago my expository writing teacher Mr. Lancia was spending Halloween with his friends at the time He was still living with his parents and he was eight teen years old the same age as me. One day before Halloween he and three of his friends where going out to T.P. some houses and so they drove down by the woods in a town slightly to the south of the one he lived in. They had planned to do it like this so that way no one would guess it was them. Now as they were about to cut through the woods they saw some kind of statue in there Nabors’s backyard and they decided to check it out. When they climbed over the chain-link fence they saw that the statue was a wooden disk with a actual pepperoni pizza on it and on the lower right hand corner of the pizza was a clock that was still working and in the center was a frozen Raven with its wings outstretched It’s neck snapped, one of it’s red eyes gouged out, and it’s organs gutted.
Now this was the most disturbing thing he and his friends had ever seen and so they spent about ten minutes or so standing there and talking about it. Lancia’s friend Charles wanted to go home and tell their parents, but Mr. Lancia insisted on keeping it a secret and so they spent the rest of the night going along with their plan. Eventually it got dark and he and his friends where driving through the neborhood listening to Jim Morison’s “the doors” And since this aria was new to them they had gotten lost and by this point the sun had gone down and it had begun to snow. Now of course the pizza clock was still on everyone’s minds so they were fairly jumpy. After some driving they found a familiar road that they knew would get them home “Rout 8”. But something seemed off so Lancia’s friend Jacob volunteered to go and check it out but the snow had gotten so dense that the doors couldn’t open. So they continued to drive for about a mile or so and eventually they came across a wooden sign with a warning painted on it. “Rout 8 Closed Turn Back Now.” Upon seeing this He and all of his friends freaked out and got out of there as fast as they could.
Eventually they found the one other road that lead to the house where Lancia and his friends were staying Rout 13. Everyone in the car was hesitant but they continued any way they decided to check if the clock was still there so when they reached the house they found the statue at they walked around to the back yard and instead of the pizza they had expected there were two men smoking cigarettes now according to my teacher these guys looked super sketchy the thing he found most unsettling was that they were wearing matching Jim Morison t-shirts. Lancia was hesitant but asked if they had seen the “Pizza Clock” When the two men heard this they just gave Lancia and his friends a funny look and shook their heads. Now Lancia and his friends were really scared and decided that it was time to go home and avoid any and all detours.

When they got home Lancia’s mother was there waiting for them with a very concerned look on her face. When Lancia asked what had happened she told him and his friends that Charles’ father had died so he and his friends looked over to Charles who simply walked upstairs to his room and shut the door. After he and the rest of his friends got ready for bed Lancia went to check in on his friend. When he was about to enter his friends’ room he could hear music playing so he called his friend Jacob to come check it out. Jacob didn’t get what Lancia was so interested in until he heard the song. It was Jim Morison’s “The End” But the thing that was most interesting was that his friend had put it on loop.
Mr. Lancia and his friends never spoke to each other or anyone else about that evening until ten years had passed. Lancia was spending some time in Florida on vacation when he ran in to his friend Charles in a coffee shop. He asked about how he’d been and the usual catch-up questions. Then he asked about the Clock and his friend said that he had read about it in a book on satanic and pagan rituals, Charles told Lancia that the clock they found was a type of totem used to cast curses and bring misfortune to those who looked at them and that followers of these religions prayed to a demon called oni. The two of them laughed and then got in to a cab together after discovering that they were staying at the same hotel. The driver looked drunk but Lancia and Charles decided to take the cab anyway.
After some time the cab driver pulled a bottle of liquor from the glove compartment and on the bottle was the exact same raven as the one on the pizza clock. Its wings were spread and its head was facing the same direction. The only difference about this raven was that both of its eyes were in place and it’s organs were still intact aside from that it was the exact same raven red eyes and all. Now Lancia was worried and asked the cab driver to put the bottle away as the driver turned his head to reply the cab crashed in to a telephone pole killing the driver and putting Lancia and his friend in the hospital. The nurse who was putting Lancia and his friend in there bunks asked if Lancia knew the cabdriver and handed him a photo. It was none other than his friend Jacob. Lancia told her that it was his friend and gave her back the photo and fell asleep. When he woke up there was a book on Charles’ bed it was a copy of Jim Morison’s “The Wilderness” Lancia reached over the still body of his friend and read the first poem “-I fear that he’s been maimed beyond all recognition. He hears them come and murmur over his corpse. Street Pizza”

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3 Comments

  1. What? No other words come to mind, except isn’t ONI that shady group of bastards from halo?

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  2. What was going on here? I couldn’t bear to read it all

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