CRAPPYPASTA

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Pokemon blood/red

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you know how you love Pokémon red after this you won’t. so my story begins when my brother and I went to gamestop. he told me to get this game pokemon fire/red I remember most my friends were boring after playing. I looked at rise of nightmares a kinetic game of course. so when he tells me mom won’t like it and we both have to play it. He had a point now we regret he did. so I get home because I hate it he let me have the first turn. wow I loved this game I don’t know why I said no then it was his turn. when he used a cheat to have the Pokémon Charmander when his first Pokémon was squirtle. when we went in tall grass a battle began it told me which Pokemon squirtle or charmander. Ichose my lvl10 charmander. then when I tried to run but it said can’t run from a trainer battle. so I defeated squirtle it said my squirtle has died. so then when I was traveling I saw blood. it said this is squirtles blood. I turned it off and restarted. when I continued I was at a graveyard at the grave of squirtle. why did this happen? all I know is I haven’t played a Pokémon game since.
Credit To – lukesick1

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Pokemon blood/red, 3.2 out of 10 based on 58 ratings
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  • Pax

    *Bites thumb*

    Ah… um. You… with the…

    Yeah, no.

    ===
    Fight Pokemon
    Item >Run
    ===

    GOT AWAY SAFELY!

  • Paul

    Good Lord, that’s confusing! I don’t think I have ever read anything more incoherent. Please, next time ask your mom to help you write these things.

  • Alfred Frederick Dinglebottom

    Deconstruction time.

    “you know how you love Pokémon red after this you won’t.”

    Until I frequented this site, I’d never heard of it. I don’t love it. I’m sure I’ll hate it even more after this. That first sentence was terrible!

    “so my story begins when my brother and I went to gamestop. he told me to get this game pokemon fire/red I remember most my friends were boring after playing.”

    Surely your story begins from your first sentence. I bet they were boring after playing it. It sounds like a boring game.

    “I looked at rise of nightmares a kinetic game of course.”

    Yes obviously, because all your readers are going to know that, except me…

    “so when he tells me mom won’t like it and we both have to play it. He had a point now we regret he did.”

    How dare he have a point of view, what an arsehole. I bet you regret it, you’ve realised it was boring.

    “so I get home because I hate it he let me have the first turn.”

    Pardon? Did this sentence make sense in your head? Actually it probably did.

    “wow I loved this game I don’t know why I said no then it was his turn.”

    Oh wow, another incoherent sentence, that’s two in a row, you’re doing very well.

    “when he used a cheat to have the Pokémon Charmander when his first Pokémon was squirtle.”

    Ooh, three in a row. Did any of this actually make sense to you? I can get more sense out of a 15 month old baby that’s main vocabulary consists of “Awwooeeee cooo”.

    “when we went in tall grass a battle began it told me which Pokemon squirtle or charmander.”

    Did it tell you or did it let you choose? I think you deserve the coveted most incoherent story award. Congratulations.

    “Ichose my lvl10 charmander. then when I tried to run but it said can’t run from a trainer battle.”

    Don’t try and run away like a pussy. Thus far this has merely been a description of you playing the game. Very badly written and extremely boring.

    ” so I defeated squirtle it said my squirtle has died. so then when I was traveling I saw blood.”

    Oh my goodness, I’ve never seen blood coming out of something that was dead before. Holy shit, that’s mental, I’m so scared.

    “it said this is squirtles blood.”

    I just told you that too.

    “I turned it off and restarted.”

    Yep because blood is scary. Perhaps you were more scared because despite seeing blood coming out of Squirtle that game told you whose blood it was.

    “when I continued I was at a graveyard at the grave of squirtle. why did this happen?”

    Because that’s where people and stuff go when they die. I know it’s shocking to be told this over the internet. Perhaps you should sit down with Mummy and Daddy and discuss it with them.

    “all I know is I haven’t played a Pokémon game since.”

    To be honest, it did sound quite boring. Apart from a bleeding Squirtle nothing happened. Perhaps your brother shouldn’t have cheated.

    “Credit To – lukesick1″

    Appropriate name. This pasta makes me sick.

    1/10 and a downvote.

    • Cyber Cactus

      I felt generous, so I decided to give him/her a 2/10 (although I felt tempted to give him/her a 1/10)

    • Whisker

      That comment made my day.

  • R3cl41m3r

    Which game did you play, Pokemon Fire Red, or Rise Of Nightmares? Also, you shouldn’t have stolen your brother’s turn, especially after refusing his offer to give you a chance to go first.

    I suggest that you actually proofread your pasta first, before sending us a wall of inconsistent crap.

  • Jewinator

    Are you kidding me? Another Pokemonic masterpiece?

    *You buys a game.
    *You plays it.
    *You kills pokemon/pokemon dies.
    *You sees blood, blood everywhere.
    *You be scared.
    *You destroys the game/ never plays it.
    – All goddamn pokepastas are following this stupid plan, yours too.

    0/10. Jewinator blastin’ off again.

  • Bravo104

    This didn’t even make any sense.

  • Chipperz

    I’m just head butting my wall now from the stupidity that is this pasta.

  • Faith

    “you know how you love Pokémon red after this you won’t.”

    *sighs* Not another one of these… come on guys. Give me a break.

    Mr. Dinglebottom? I applaud you.

  • The Super Spammer Hammer

    I HAZ RETURNED!

    • Alfred Frederick Dinglebottom

      Why don’t you go on holiday a bit longer. :-)

  • Elven Vegetable

    I am utterly baffled at this point. You’d think people would know to at least TRY to write decent stories. I can’t critique any of this garbage, and I can’t even make a witty remark about half this stuff. Seriously. Hopefully there’ll be something good soon, otherwise I’m going to turn into Le Raging Internet Man.

  • pokefan not raging

    My word, this is by far the best masterpiece of a pokepasta… truly amazing!
    “we went to tall grass…. But I cant run from trainer battle!”
    you must be a pokemon veteran to be able to remember every game message/mechanism even the one’s that don’t exist!

    I applaude you good sir, I truly am amazed!

  • kara

    What..? maybe next time use spell check.

    • Alfred Frederick Dinglebottom

      Maybe next time? There won’t be a next time.

  • Aelius Cato

    Was the written by the some guy who wrote “did you stumble across a herobine”? I can see a common lack of proper grammar and coherent sentences.

    Worst poke pasta I have ever read -19/10

  • silentone

    Umm O.o I’m confused so you bought a game, saw another, decided your mom doesn’t want you to play with your brother? …. Alrighty thing back to regular creepypasta I go!

  • silentone

    Umm O.o I’m confused so you bought a game, saw another, decided your mom doesn’t want you to play with your brother? …. Alrighty

  • Larry The Loving Llama

    This is stupid, I don’t even love it.

  • Joseph Bobby XXXXXXX

    *Cough*Stereotype*Cough*

  • Random Guy

    A poke’pasta only a mother could love.

  • Crappypaster

    God damn it why must every single pokepasta be named like this:
    Pokemon (insert scary adjective here) (insert color here)
    It’s only a matter of time before someone makes a pokepasta with the name “pokemon weird orange”.

    • http://chairhiro.tumblr.com/tagged/crappypasta%20bingo The Operator

      Pokemon Slightly Suspicious Silver.

      Did I do it right?

  • DeadFracture

    daheck?

  • bozemanboy

    Here’s what the author was really trying to say here:

    I WENT TO GAMESTOP BOUGHT A HAUNTED POKEEEMANZZ CART AND PLAYED IT AND SQUIRTLE HAD BLEEDING EYES THE END PS I DONT LAIK POKEEEMANZZ ANYMOAR. THE END AGAIN LOL.

  • Citerri

    “you know how you love pokemon red”
    No.

    “kinetic”
    IT’S FREAKING KINECT GET IT RIGHT YOU ASSHOLE.

  • Shibe

    So pokee.
    Much Scare.
    Wow
    Game bad
    Such crappi

    • Alfred Frederick Dinglebottom

      Stupid fucking meme.

    • http://chairhiro.tumblr.com/tagged/crappypasta%20bingo The Operator

      Short story. The original creator of this meme is one of my friends. (I’m not even joking here. I have plenty of proof, as well.) They entirely regret what they’ve done, and our entire friend group hates the meme that has resulted of it.

      Basically: Fuck you.

  • Servonator

    “you know how you love Pokémon red”
    Haha, no. The closest I ever got to that was borrowing my brother’s blue version.

    I can’t even comprehend the rest of this. Just… what even