CRAPPYPASTA

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Pokemon- BrokenPlatinum

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I was a big fan of those Creepypasta stories, but when I walked into Gamestop on that chilly day about a year ago, I never expected for one to actually be real, and to this day, it is still one of the scariest and saddest things I’ve ever experienced.

As usual, I said hello to the cashier, and went right to the Nintendo DS games. Nothing looked any good, so I walked over to the used section, planning on getting one of the old games that I didn’t have yet for my Gameboy. I wanted to get either Pokemon Red or Blue, since they were originals and all.

But what caught my eye was the used Pokemon Platinum game. I picked up the case, and written in the corner of the case was the word “Broken”.

…Okay, so…if it was broken, why was it being sold?

I had the Pokemon Diamond game, but I had yet to buy Platinum since it was new, which is why it was surprising to see it in the used section already. I asked the cashier about why the words “broken” were written over the case. He said he didn’t know, and that they wouldn’t be selling it if it didn’t work. I shrugged and decided to buy it, figuring that either way, getting a used Platinum game for this cheap was a pretty good deal.

I took it home and put the game in right away, excited to play it. I knew it wouldn’t be that much different from Diamond, but I was so glad to actually be able to play it. The starting screen opened up, but I immediately noticed something was off.

Doesn’t a pokemon game usually open with the signature legendary Pokemon cry? Like, for example, we would see Dialga in Diamond and hear his cry before the starting screen opened up. But as I began to play the game, instead of that, the screen went completely white. After a moment, it showed Twinleaf Town. But, it was way different. The coloring was all wrong, everything was tinged in a darkish red. In zoomed over to the people…they were all laying down in what looked like pools of blood.

I mean, I’m 15, but I thought all the Pokemon games were rated E…

I quickly checked the case. “Rated E for Everyone”.

Alrighty then. I knew that little pixel characters laying in pools of blood was not an E game. But, grimly fascinated, I kept watching. The music was one, incredibly low, almost static-sounding pitch that made the scene even more eerie. I kept watching, feeling chills run up my arms. What was going on?

Suddenly, a shadow spread across the town in the form of what looked like a giant Pokemon. I couldn’t tell which one, but it looked like it could be Giratina.
The game faded to black and froze on a black screen. Frowning, I restarted it, wondering what that was about, and if I could actually play the game this time. As the game started, I heard the cry of Giratina sound, and the outline of it. Good, now I could play! But that scene in Twinleaf town still haunted me, and it didn’t feel right at all.

I started out very similarly to Diamond. I was in my house, etc. etc., talked to my mom  and my rival, who I always named Jake. He started talking about Cyrus almost right away, going on about how horrible and evil he was, and how he needed to be stopped. I found this to be a little weird, considering in Diamond we didn’t even know who Cyrus was until much later. But I guess in Platinum, it was different.

I continued on with the game over the next couple of days, but there was something just so weird about it. Everywhere I went, people were warning me about Cyrus, over and over and over again. Every single battle I’d go into would have someone telling me about Cyrus, and Team Galactic. It was so weird…was this normal? No one would shut up about it!

I figured all this talk about Cyrus could possibly link to the chilling scene I witnessed before the game even started…does Cyrus win in the end in Platinum? That would be a horrible way to end a pokemon game, but I didn’t know for sure. I was hoping it was just a warning.
But what was even weirder was that I never even met Cyrus. Throughout the whole game, I kept expecting him to come up, but he never did.

When I reached Floroma Town, I came upon something odd. Heck, this entire game was odd, but this was even weirder. As I walked around, a young boy walked up to me.

“Trainer, trainer! You’re a trainer, right?”

I chose “YES”, feeling curious.

“Good!” the boy said. “My town needs help. It’s Cyrus!”

I groaned. Not this again, would anyone ever shut up about him?!

“Will you help us?”

Without even thinking, I selected “NO” just out of irritation, knowing I’d get asked again and be forced to choose “YES”.

But to my surprise, the boy didn’t ask again.

“…” appeared on the screen, and then he walked away.

Okay, weird. Wasn’t I usually asked again and again with these kinds of questions? I frowned, but continued walking around. Still no sign of Cyrus.

Or anyone, for that matter. All of Floroma Town was completely empty, the shops, the houses, everything, except for two Team Galactic goons standing in the entrance to the northern path that would lead me out of the town.

I walked up to the first one.

“Ehehehehe, look who it is!”

The second one said, “Everyone hates you now, you know that right?”

Okay, wow…was this all because I said no to that little boy? The two goons parted and let me pass.

I continued playing. Floroma Town was the only town that had been completely deserted, the other towns had still been inhabited.

As I continued to play, I noticed I was heading straight for the Elite Four. But that didn’t make any sense. The Elite Four wasn’t until the very end of the game…I was supposed to go through a whole thing with Cyrus and Dialga and Giratina before I was ready to face the Elite Four. Wouldn’t the game stop me if I missed a crucial step?

Apparently not, because I went straight to the Elite Four tower. If there was all this hype about Cyrus and Team Galactic, why did I never even see the guy? I did in my old Diamond game.

This game was definitely strange. But, I kept playing.

I entered the Elite Four building, and immediately noticed something wasn’t right. There was no one there, except for the lady to heal my pokemon before it was time to begin. I went to heal my pokemon, but she didn’t give me the traditional welcome to the pokemon center like every other pokemon-center lady does.

“…” appeared on the screen, and she healed my pokemon.

…Okay. I also noticed there was no one there to let me buy anything that could assist me in facing the Elite Four.

I checked my bag. All of my supplies were empty.

What?! I was running low, I knew that, but my bag was not supposed to be completely empty. Confused, I moved my player towards the door, planning on just trying to face them anyway, knowing I probably wouldn’t make it past the first guy.

As I moved to enter the first room, someone hurriedly exited, crashing into my player. I’d never seen this person before.

“You! It’s you!” the girl said. The game gave me an option to say “YES” or “NO”

I chose “YES”

“Are you here to defeat the Elite Four?”

Well…yeah…

“YES”

“Don’t you know of the danger?”

Danger?! What danger? What was wrong with this game?

I selected “NO”

For the third time now, I received the typical “…”. The player moved past me without another word and exited the building. I just decided to move forward and challenge the Elite Four, figuring the game couldn’t possibly get any stranger than this.

As it turns out, I was wrong.

I knew from playing Pokemon Diamond that the first Elite Four you were to face was Aaron, the Bug-Type user. But instead, I came straight to Lucifer, the Psychic-Type user. Was that the way it was done in Platinum? That didn’t make much sense to me, to start with the 4th Elite Four, but I guess that was just how it was done.

He did his typical introductions, and the battle began.

Right off the bat, he brought out his Abrakadavra and used this really weird move I’d never heard of before called “Decimate”. It fainted my Empoleon immediately…and all of my other pokemon in my party.

How was that even possible? No move can knock out all of your pokemon at once that aren’t even out for battle.

As normal when all of your pokemon are fainted, the screen went to black and it took me back to the last Pokemon Center, the one inside the Elite Four building. I was very confused, and incredibly frustrated. I hadn’t even gotten a chance to battle.

Angry, I moved my player back towards the door to try again. I knew now that I was not supposed to face Lucifer right away…did the game possibly glitch?

So I tried again, but it brought me right back to Lucifer and his psychic pokemon. Once again, I brought out my Empoleon for battle, but he used that same move again, Decimate.

And, just like before, all my pokemon that weren’t even in battle were knocked out and I was sent back to the beginning before I could even attack. I was angry now, this game was obviously glitched.

I went to exit the building, a bit fed up with this stupid game, and hoping to try something different, when a notice popped up as I was about to leave:

“Are you sure you want to leave?”

I frowned, and chose “YES”.

My player left the building, but it took me to a completely different location than when I had originally entered. I quickly realized I was back in Floroma Town.

How the heck did that even happen? Why was I already back in Floroma Town? That was completely impossible.

My anger gone, I was curious now. I began walking around Floroma Town, remembering how empty it was before, when I came across the weirdest thing I had yet to see on this game.

About fifteen or so people were lined up in front of the flower shop with a Team Galactic Goon standing to face everybody. I saw women, children, men, and even the little boy who had approached me before.

“Hand over your pokemon, or the person next to you dies,” the goon told everyone in the line.

Whoa. Okay…again with the “Rated E” game.

One person in the line spoke up. To my shock, it was the little boy.

“Why should we give you our pokemon? You’re just a jerk! You and all your stupid men are all jerks!”

I gulped. I didn’t like where this game was going, and I was still incredibly confused.

I watched my screen as the goon walked up to the women standing next to the boy, temporarily concealing my vision of her.

A text box appeared on the screen again:

“AAAAAAAAAH!”

He stepped away. The sprite of the woman was laying on the ground in what looked like a pool of blood. I nearly dropped my Nintendo DS onto the ground in shock.

The sprite of the boy was now facing away from the goon.

“I’ll say it again: everyone is to hand over their pokemon. NOW.”

Another text box on the screen. I knew this one was from the little boy:

“You didn’t save us.”

My mouth hung open. Oh my God. Was this my fault? What kind of game was this?

I quickly moved my sprite away from the horrific sight, moving out of Floroma Town. Suddenly, it hit me: the scene I saw in the beginning of the game.

Suddenly truly scared, I didn’t know if I wanted to go back to Twinleaf Town. I decided to anyway, knowing I probably should since apparently this was my fault.

I selected my Honchkrow from my pokemon and chose the “Fly” option, selecting Twinleaf Town as my destination. I entered the town slowly, afraid of what I would see…

I quickly saw that what I had most feared had come true. I could barely even look at my screen at the horrific sight in front of me.

Everyone in Twinleaf Town lay slaughtered.

But how? What did this?

Cyrus. Of course.

No sooner did the thought cross my mind than the familiar black shadow move across the town, darkening it.

It was the shape of the legendary pokemon, Giratina.

A text box appeared on the screen once more, and sure enough, it was from Cyrus.

“You allowed me to take control, young trainer. For that, I thank you. A new race will be born, and from it, everyone will serve me. If I can bend Giratina to my command, conquering Sinnoh, and then the world, will be simple. And it’s all thanks to you. You were the only one who contained what it took to stop me, but you were too preoccupied with trying to win fame for yourself. But for this, I thank you.”

The text box disappeared.

Feeling numb, I moved my player into my house. Sure enough, my mom was dead too. This was obviously the work of Cyrus, the one who everyone in the game had warned me about, over and over again.

I checked my pokemon, but to my horror, they were gone. All six of them were gone. What happened to them?

I checked my trainer card. It was almost completely blank except for one thing. Where my name should have been, there was just one word in all capitals: “GUILT.”

I checked my pokemon again, and was shocked: All my original pokemon were still gone, but now they were replaced with six UNKNOWNS of different letters. I knew for a fact that I had never caught a single UNKNOWN in my whole time playing this game.

I looked closer, and saw that they formed a word if read from the left to the right, up to down.

“GUILTY”

This was borderline scary now. What did all this mean?

I stood amongst the dead of Twinleaf Town, not knowing what to do next. If I went to the next town up, Sandgem Town, would everyone be dead there too? What about my rival? Professor Rowan? Was it too late to defeat Cyrus and Team Galactic?

I began to walk, but I noticed something was very wrong with the way my player was walking. I couldn’t run, first of all, and my walking was growing slower and slower with each step, until eventually it looked like it wasn’t walking at all, but just dragging itself along.

I checked my trainer card again. It was still completely blank except for the name, but now it said something different:

“GOODBYE”

I blinked. Goodbye? Goodbye to who? I tried to move my player again. It wouldn’t move.

I tried again, and again, but my player stayed in one spot, right outside my house. Suddenly, without me controlling it, my player’s sprite turned to the left, then the right, then forward again.

A text box appeared again, this time it was from my own player:

“IT WAS MY FAULT.”

I checked my pokemon again. Only three UNKNOWNS were in my party now, and they spelled out a new word:

“YES”

I checked my trainer card again. The picture of my player was gone now, leaving the space blank. But there were words written below it:

“Deceased 12/22/12. Suicide. A great trainer. Buried in the Twinleaf Town cemetery with her mother.”

What?! Oh my God. I quickly exited out, but my player was gone now, and the game’s camera was panning towards the lake. The music was that incredibly low, almost not even musical, single pitch again, sending goosebumps up my arms. The game camera crossed the lake, showing a cemetery that I didn’t even know existed.

It focused in on two graves, side-by-side. I saw six pokemon standing around the one. Empoleon, Honchkrow, Roserade, Rapidash, Luxray, and Cleffable. I recognized them right away: they were my pokemon, mourning over the loss of my player who committed suicide out of shame.

The game faded to black, and took me back to the start screen, but I dared not play it again. Feeling shaken and very disturbed, I had learned a lesson that day, a very important one…don’t let your own greed stand in the way of what’s right, even if it’s something as seemingly meaningless as a pokemon game.

Credit To – VioletIsabelleLovett
Credit Link - http://the-emersonobsessed-timelady.tumblr.com/

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Pokemon- BrokenPlatinum, 6.5 out of 10 based on 38 ratings
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16 Comments

  1. Ugh, the best thing about pokepastas is that they’re usually relatively short. This was way too fucking long. And it ended with a stupid nonsensical moral.

    “don’t let your own greed stand in the way of what’s right, even if it’s something as seemingly meaningless as a pokemon game.”

    This relates to the story only in that it mentions pokemon.

    Bleh…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xb898sQtu8

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  2. Who would buy a game marked as ‘broken’?

    Why would Gamestop sell something like that anyway?

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  3. This was ok not scary and its support to not have a morel.

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  4. I got to the point where I will never ever read a pokepasta again. If anything at all points to it being about pokemon, from now on, I will just skip it. I am sorry, but I honestly cannot view pokepasta writers as aspiring authors anymore, no matter how much I want to….

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  5. i didnt accuead the whole thing because the beggining is almost exactly like ben drowned. zzzzzzz

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  6. Fuckin stupid. Just completely fucking stupid, I don’t quite understand where people get this idea that they can take something that worked a few times, And do it again, and AGAIN in the same fucking boring way, Literally just stop. If you cannot as a writer come up with something originaly, something totally devoid of any REMNANT of a creepy pasta, JUST DON’T DO IT. IT is not a hard thing to do. This is literally the entire setup for every pokeFUCKINGpasta. start game OMG game save exists already, Oh god missingno OH GOD THE OLD MAN, LAVANDER TOWN, THEY ARE TALKING TO ME OH my, My character is dying. THEY KNOW MY REAL NAME! The pokemans has died

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  7. I’m afraid to play my Pokemon games now D:

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  8. You know what’s scariest in this story? That a Gamestop employee put a DS game in the same section as Gameboy games, which no longer exists. I’ve never met a Gamestop employee who organizes so badly that he puts DS games in a part of the store that doesn’t exist! It’s frightening!

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  9. Okay story and good morel but like an earlier comment said to long

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  10. That’s messed up!! I would throw the game out!

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  11. I thought it was a relatively good story. The story DID go on for just a little too long but overall it was good. GO POKEMON!!!!!!!!!!!

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  12. This is fake, you can’t catch a Honchrow or a Murkrow in Platinum. It’s a version exclusive.

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  13. I thought that this Creepy/Pokepasta was good. Sure, it’s no BEN DROWNED, but then again it’s not supposed to be. I do think that a moral (that’s how it’s spelled dumb-asses) could’ve been avoided. However, i think the author really did try to give it her (i assume) their all. I wish there was video evidence, but like i said this is not the same as BEN DROWNED.

    As far as cliches go, the “BROKEN” being on a cartridge seems unlikely, as GAMESTOP removes the original case of games, and puts them in Gamestop-owned cases, so to see BROKEN written on it seems just a bit unlikely. I’ll give the author credit though, at least they didn’t go the whole “Free game from an OLD MAN or Yard sale with black sharpie written on it… BAAAAAHHHH HYPER-REALISTIC BLOOD!!!!”, so Props to avoiding that.
    Overall, this could be better, but regardless, it was still good. to the writer: Avoid those Cliches of GameStop selling a shady cartridge.

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  14. Ok, this might just be nitpicking, but it has to be said. The Psychic Elite Four’s name is Lucian, not Lucifer. Also, it’s Alakazam, not Abrakadavra.

    Other than that, this pasta was ok. The concept was interesting with Cyrus actually succeeding in taking over the world. But, there were still some flaws and major cliches that I feel could be changed to make this more successful. One thing that really got me was the whole unknown thing. I feel you just copied that from Lost Silver. I get it, it’s creepy, but you lost me at that point. I give this pasta a C+.

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  15. I truely enjoyed this! I think it is the only Pokepasta that I have been able to sit through and not skim. Good Job!

    Yeah it is not a creepy pasta….well this is not CREEPYPASTA.com. it is CRAPPYpasta.com. You know for the pasta that are not quite up to par? So some people need to really stop digging on a good story. It used deacent grammer, and was a fluid read.

    No it is not a creepypasta, but pokemon and other games are to overdone to be creepy, it is however, a well written short story, and perhaps people should grade you on how you did with it.

    8/10
    2/2 For practical suspenceful build up
    1/2 for fluidity open to close.
    2/2 deacent grammer
    1/2 for details (some of them were off)
    2/2 for an original (ish) take how the story would play out (you didnt get sucked into the game, no hyper-realistic blood, no demons following you around.)

    So there you were graded on how you WROTE the story. Good Job Keep up the good work, and I hope to see more from you soon.

    xxx Ahria

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