CRAPPYPASTA

For those pastas that are smelling less than fresh…


Psycho Naruto

| 27 Comments

i was scrolling through Netflix, back whe Naruto was still on Netflix, i decided to watch Naruto. i noticed that at the seasons list was “Season Zero.” i tried to ignore it but curiosity got the best of me. it only had one episode titled “Psycho Naruto” i clicked it, i wish i hadn’t. it started with Naruto smiling but his jumpsuit was red instead of orange. i found out why. he was beating Sasuke’s face in and his blood was staining his jumpsuit. iNaruto would never do this without a reason. it flashed to Naruto stabbing Kakashi in the eye. it was the sharingan eye. he then took it out and licked it. i nearly puked. it then flashed to a door that i realized was Naruto’s. i heard Sakura screamin and someone or something was banging on the door. it turns out Naruto was raping Sakura. it then flashed to Naruto trying to kill Neji. he was trying to cut out his heart. i turned it off. i was having dreams about that Naruto. he was saying “Why did you stop watching?” i never saw Naruto on Netflix again.
Credit To – Dakota Miller

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Psycho Naruto, 2.3 out of 10 based on 63 ratings
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  • Mockingbird

    You know, with the amount of time and effort that went into the making of this pasta, you could have done something a bit more productive. By that, I mean nothing. No time and and effort was needed for the making of this pasta.

  • http://www.don'taskquestions.com/itcouldbeawesome/oritmightbesomethinghorrible/butit'sprobablyjustalameemptysearchpage/nowwithcookies(tomakeyoufeelbetter).com Aelius Cato

    Actually Mockingbird, I’ll have to disagree about this story not requiring effort. If only that were true, no writing pastas like this requires negative effort.

    Oh yes, anything like this has such a lack of effort that it takes effort away from what would be productive things. Right now, somewhere in the world, a doctor will have all of his effort sucked right out just as he was giving surgery. Good job you just killed someone with your horrible story.

    Help yourself to a -10/10 and a downvote, thanks a lot for wasting our time (In case you can’t tell I hate you.)

  • QG

    Am I going blind, or is the mobile version of Crappy pasta missing tags?

    • derpbutt

      Can anyone else replicate this? They’re displaying fine for me when I view through iPhone user agent in Safari.

      • InsanityUnderHats

        Actually, I’m getting the same thing. I also can’t reply to comments in mobile mode, I have to switch to desktop.

        • derpbutt

          Also noted. Thanks!

          • FlibbleLibble

            Same here, is it fixable?

          • derpbutt

            All I can really do is pass the bug on to the people who actually make the mobile plugin we use.

      • Jaff

        Just checked my phone, Chrome browser on my DROID RAZR, and I do not see any tags either. Checked a few pastas, no tags showed up.

        • derpbutt

          Thanks for this! I’ll let the plugin devs know that they’ve vanished with the recent update.

  • Razputin

    “iNaruto would never do this without a reason.”

    If for some reason your new iNaruto goes on a killing spree, be sure to contact your nearest Genius Bar for troubleshooting.

  • Lunaisepic

    I never was a huge fan of naruto, but you don’t need to be to see this story is complete garbage. I pray for the souls of any naruto fans you have had to read this

  • madinverse

    Why do so many young writers mention things like rape and molestation in their pastas when it adds no pertinence to the storyline? It’s not creepy, it’s not frightening, it’s not shocking, and it sure as hell doesn’t make a poorly written story sound any more mature. It’s just vulgar and stupid, so stop it.

    • derpbutt

      In my opinion, it has to do with a lack of empathy/understanding of the seriousness of such topics combined with the fact that popular culture does, for whatever reason, tend to treat such things as valid entertainment. I mean, there’s an entire SVU spin-off dedicated to sex crimes, which has always seriously weirded me out. How is that enjoyable to watch? How is it okay to be entertained by sexual abuse? Yet it’s wildly popular.

      Just from the comments that I don’t approve, I’ve seen people with the attitude that rape is funny/something to joke about, or even more disgusting – that it’s not actually an issue or bad thing except in the mind of ‘feminazis’ and their ilk. People referring to clinical depression as something that people need to ‘get over’ or that it’s impossible/invalid unless you’ve had sufficient trauma to appease that particular commenter’s imagined depression threshold, people talking about how sexual abuse/child abuse is ‘hot’, etc. I truly think that such views being repeated and absorbed so often – even as “jokes” – results in people who haven’t experienced an issue finding it unimportant, trivial, and, in the case of crappypastas, nothing more than fodder. After all, if society at large reduces an issue to jokes and entertainment, why would they need to think any harder about using it in their own stories?

      • Alfred Frederick Dinglebottom

        I spent my evening in A&E with my future Mother in law. She was threatening to kill herself etc. It’s moments like that, that make you really appreciate how serious depression is. Trying to tell someone that they are special, unique and loved is very difficult when they think they’re worthless and just want to “disappear”. It’s very hard to understand when you’re not going through it. I even find it difficult to understand after seeing her like that.

        As Craphunter often says, nothing appears to be exempt from being a fetish. Rape appears in a lot of mainstream television as well. There is probably a rape or two a year in our “beloved” British soaps. I’d hate to know what the crime rate was in their area. Young people have easy access to these things. When they’re portrayed on mainstream television so frequently they become normalised. The internet just adds to that issue. It’s worrying.

        • derpbutt

          Well said, and I wish the best to your future MIL (and you and the rest of your family) in working through such a difficult thing.

  • http://chairhiro.tumblr.com/tagged/crappypasta%20bingo The Operator

    Don’t ever use rape to try and make your story scarier. All it will do is make me absolutely, completely despise you.

    • ^

      yeah it really doesn’t accomplish anything, it doesn’t make it a good story, doesn’t make it a good attempt at trolling, it’s just…useless

  • slade

    You people complain too much. Grow a pair and stop being a bunch of worthless pricks about bull****. This was written to entertain people who want to read messed up stories and it was pretty obvius this was going to happen so either dont complain or f*** off.

    • http://talesfromdickcounty.tumblr.com The Operator

      Wow.

      Even if it’s in a story, rape is still fucked up, and if you want to read about it, and more importantly, defend stories with it, you’re a despicable little fucking individual.

    • Alfred Frederick Dinglebottom

      Go and read the FAQ. Then try again. Until then keep your ridiculous, ill informed comments to yourself.

    • Yossarian

      “You assholes stop having opinions that differ from mine!”

      First off, and I feel like I’m pointing out the obvious, we ARE the people who want to read messed-up stories. If it doesn’t entertain us, then it is not well-written. Just writing gore and violence with simple, one-sentence descriptions is weak and completely dull. If you enjoy reading such simplistic sadism, you are probably too busy trying to catch your own thumbs to understand good fiction.

      Also, if you are too timid to write out “bullshit” and “fuck,” you are probably too young to be here. Go finish your math homework and stop trying to play Internet Tough Guy.

    • Demonicus

      If only we had tags for comments. You sir, would get the potty mouth tag for self censoring.

      Also, messed up=/=Creepy.
      Scratch that. Messed up=/= entertainment. When the hell has rape been considered a passing thing in anything. Even in shows with rape they give it the ammount of attention (well, minimal ammount) that it deserves. Having rape as a passing thing is not entertainment.

    • InsanityUnderHats

      Wow… Just wow. I don’t think I’ve ever read a more ignorant or misinformed statment in my life. Clearly you are a ten-year-old boy who has no understanding of what rape is and why it’s so wrong. Also, as Demonicus previously stated, we are here to read creepy and entertaining storys, not ‘messed up’ ones.

  • LuckTickets

    A few notes for the author
    -How many times do you have to write the name Naruto before i fuckin get it
    -Rape isn’t scary. Don’t use rape/molestation as some kind of go-to to make a scary story. Rape is very raw and very terrifying for the people that go through it. When addressed and handled in an appropriate manner, it can be a very powerful and effective element in a story, especially one that is supposed to be dark and scary. But you just added it in for the shock factor, or to make this story some weird twisted fanfiction. It was hardly necessary. You have no empathy and its gross.
    -Eye gore too? And cutting out hearts? Did you google horror tropes before you wrote this? Who told you all of this was a good idea?
    -AND IT WAS A LOST EPISODE PASTA AS WELL. PHENOMENAL. Thank god nothing was hyper realistic. That would have taken the cake.
    -In short, just because it’s common in the pioneering pastas doesnt mean its still good. For real. Also wow with the rape element. Just…wow.

  • Anonymous

    i just have to point out something here.. it says “iNaruto would never do this…”

    iNaruto, is that a new apple product?

  • batin

    “but curiosity got the best of me.”
    They say that EVERY TIME. No real reason, just “curiosity got the best of me”