CRAPPYPASTA

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Rocky and Bullwinkle – The Lost Finale

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I love cartoons. I’m not the best animator, but I try. However, today I saw something that changed my life. I may be dead by the time you read this, but promise me you won’t look this up.

My friend told me that there is a supposed sneak peek of a 60’s finale of The Bullwinkle Show. Being a fan, I couldn’t wait. No one was in the film room, so I pulled the “finale” up. I had no idea what I was getting into.

It started with the theme, but it was drearier and…violent. I shrugged it off, because it was the end of the series. It was similar to the first theme that the series had. After that, the announcer introduced the scene. Everything went downhill from there.

Rocky and Bullwinkle were about to leave to just get the mail, or “post,” as they called it. But as they left the house, Bullwinkle grabbed a bat. They left and the door closed. I heard a bunch of clatters and expected the villains, Boris and Natasha, or just some slapstick, or something. I was wrong.

Bullwinkle came back in, holding…oh, no. Was that…blood on the bat? He had a very sinister look on his face, and then he just left. Outside, Rocky somehow had a phone. He called someone and tried to patch up his injuries. It sounded like he called an exterminator.

“Hello?” he said. “Yes, I need you to KILL him.” I was in shock. They then showed who was on the other end. It was Boris and Natasha.

Peabody and Sherman then came up. I was stunned and confused. What had just happened? Plus Peabody and Sherman never came on this early. It usually was on by the end of the show. They used the WAYBAC to go to World War 2.

I expected them to help someone like Anne Frank. Of course, I was wrong. They helped…Adolf Hitler, who was thinking about giving up on life. He even put a gun in his mouth. They “helped” him just in time, but then the unthinkable happened.

The next scene showed them starving in a concentration camp. Why were they in there? The thing is…this scene wasn’t a cartoon. It was a real person and a real dog. They…died…right on the screen…I couldn’t take it anymore, but YouTube wouldn’t let me click out. The next segment popped up.

It was Mr. Know-It-All. Rocky glumly introduced Bullwinkle, who was back to his dim-witted self. He showed kids how to make their own playground. The rings were nooses, though. Bullwinkle fell into one of them.

A close-up was shown and then a message popped up. “Isn’t this fun, kids?” I felt like crying, and ran for the door. It was locked from the outside. My only option was to sit down and watch. I still had three more segments to go, as well.

Rocky, Boris, and Natasha appeared. All three of them had guns in their hands. They broke into the house and Bullwinkle arrived like a horror movie serial killer. He got Boris and then Natasha. Finally, Rocky shot him in the head. I cried, but I don’t know why. This episode was all twisted. I didn’t want this anymore. “The End” popped up.

The fifth segment was just static, but Dudley-do-Right was the clearest of all. Everything was dead. The trees, the grass, and even the animals were all lifeless. Snidely and Nell were running, holding hands. They were no match for Dudley, however.

Dudley shot Snidely and blood sprayed out. Dudley went to the defenseless Nell, who had tears streaming down her face. He kissed her…then hit her…and then held her down. He shot the “camera man” and the episode ended.

I didn’t want to see the credits. I closed YouTube, but the credits were still projecting. There were names and…dates and causes of deaths. Some were even celebrities. The final name…was mine.

Elijah Thalmann
Date of Death: 4/2/13
Cause: TBD

Today is April 3rd. My friend is posting this. Whatever you do, don’t watch this episode. Someone’s at the door.
Credit To – coldzilla

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Rocky and Bullwinkle - The Lost Finale, 5.9 out of 10 based on 15 ratings
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2 Comments

  1. DIS IS AINT NO FUN WITHOUT UNCLE ADOLPH!!!!!!!!!! 2/10 .

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
  2. This is just another poor rehash of Squidwards Suicide only applied to Rocky and Bullwinkle. Shall we go through the checklist?

    1. Showing some lackluster attempt to make yourself somehow connected to the show. Check
    2. Random show characters brutally killing each other for no reason whatsoever. Check
    3. High amounts of pointless blood and gore? Check
    4. Random parts where there was actual footage of real people being murdered (In this case the concentration camp and the nooses), Check
    5. Characters overreacting to certain scenes that were not even scary. Check
    6. Lacking anything that is actually scary, Check.
    7. The “good” characters decide to change sides for no apparent reason. Check
    8. No real proof this ever could have existed, Check.

    This is not a good pasta, and really is just a sad rehash of Squidward’s Suicide. Sure, you had SOME things different about it, but other than that, pretty much the same. This was boring and doesn’t really have much to it. I give it a F. Don’t try again unless it is with something original

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (3 votes cast)

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