CRAPPYPASTA

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Sakura EMELY Drowned

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This is the story of Sakura EMELY Drowned, BEN’s secrete twin sister… Until now. A pair of twins were born one day… But only for one to be forgotten. One of the twins is known as BEN Drowned, the other one as EMELY Drowned or Sakura. They lived with a happy family until the twins were 5 and there brother was born, and their mother died. They were left going to a new school with a brand new family but not for the better. In school they were bullied, at home their father abused of them. But the day came when they were 12. They went to the forest to their favorite lake, not knowing that the bullies followed. They were playing in the side of the lake when the bullies grab both of them and drowned them. However, a hour later they woke up like nothing happend and went home only to be stopped by a spirit. The spirit was going to grant one of them a wish to be in the leyend of zelda but the other one was to be forgotton by the rest of the family and have a new past. EMELY was the one. She was forgotton bye the others and name was changed to Sakura Haruno. However, She kept both names, one for her creepypasta life, and the other one for her other life. Now she helps BEN haunt majora’s mask, but sometimes she haunts her game: Skywards Sword. Just remember that…

She’s Always There, Watching..
Credit To – Sakura

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Sakura EMELY Drowned, 2.2 out of 10 based on 80 ratings
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  • Mockingbird

    BEN fan fiction? (sigh) Are you TRYING to kill us?

    • Arctic

      BENfiction?

  • InsanityUnderHats

    Ben Drowned was one of the only gaming pastas that I actually liked, but then you ruined it. Good job author, good job.

  • Faith

    This makes me really sad. The BEN DROWNED story was absolutely terrifying yet the author had to take this and just I don’t even know what you did to this story. I don’t even know. This is a totally pointless reheat. Why do people think this is okay? It’s practically plagiarism.

    By the way, secret is spelled s-e-c-r-e-t. No e at the end.

  • http://www.don'taskquestions.com/itcouldbeawesome/oritmightbesomethinghorrible/butit'sprobablyjustalameemptysearchpage/nowwithcookies(tomakeyoufeelbetter).com Aelius Cato

    Let’s see here:

    Secret twin cliche: check
    Parental abuse shoehorned in for no reason at all: check
    Cliched bullies: check
    Bullies kill them for absolutely no reason: TRIPLE FUCKING CHECK!
    Magically useless wish: yep
    Pointless Japanese sounding name: Really, you felt the need to add that?

    Well this is just a typical stupid self-insertish fanfic. No thought or effort of any kind were made, and you contributed to the ruining of a once enjoyable story. -20/10

  • Ms.Crow

    Firstly, what have you done with Ben?
    Seriously mate, why give him some jealous sister who drowned with him and apparently didn’t get enough attention?
    A. The name is weird, Emely?
    And why would she change her name to some random Japanese girls name. why Japanese?
    B. The spelling mistakes are horrible, the grammar, likewise.
    C. The concept. So…when you die a spirit appears before you giving you a chance to live in your favorite video game? really? we would have more suicide attempts if that happened.
    D. The bullies. What ever happened to the bullies? they didn’t get caught, they went on with their lives. How could kids just do that and carry on with their day to day life? At least explain why.
    E. she kept a name for her ‘creepypasta life?’
    I….I felt myself deflate a little when I read that. My brain lost some air or something. I just had to face palm.

    • BlueFox

      In response to point A(i); I think that’s her pitiful attempt at spelling the name “Emily”.

    • ammy

      I think maybe because Zelda (and Nintendo for that matter) is Japanese the author wanted to give Emely a Japanese name? Maybe?

      • Scyanide

        The author didn’t give it as much thought as you are.

  • http://yomama.com joe beach

    this is hilarious. drowned is their last name he says lmmfao

    • Starkiller1086

      And you sir are strange. Seriously if I had the chance I would burn the computer which was used to make this crappypasta.

  • QG

    “and there brother was born, and their mother died.”

    I don’t care what you thought as you wrote this. It’s extremely lazy and improbable to make such a mistake. Your pasta is too damn short for mistakes like that.

    I’d leave a witty comment, but you don’t deserve our effort.

    1/10, and a well earned downvote.

  • Alfred Frederick Dinglebottom

    Hello there, my name is Alfred but you can call Yoshihiro Tajitsu. That is basically the most stupid aspect of what is a very stupid story. This cannot be improved upon.

    1/10 and a downvote.

  • Lunaisepic

    Not only have is the pasta shit, but it’s shit that destroys quite possibly the scariest gaming creepypasta ever created. Congragufuckinglations author, you’ve really outdone yourself

  • Razputin

    Oh yeah! Sakura and Ben! Two names that are so ‘from-the-same-culture’!

    Seriously, though, this was awful.

  • gwonam

    No.
    Thank you that is all.

  • Emely

    You little shit this my oc. I cant fucking believe you stole it, i dont care what you other people say its my oc and i can do what the fuck i want to do with it. And now you better watch out because ill make sure you die.

    • derpbutt

      Is this another instance of someone forgetting that they wrote a pasta and accusing themselves of plagiarism? It’s been awhile since that happened.

      • http://www.don'taskquestions.com/itcouldbeawesome/oritmightbesomethinghorrible/butit'sprobablyjustalameemptysearchpage/nowwithcookies(tomakeyoufeelbetter).com Aelius Cato

        Do these “authors” really forget their own stories? I guess that speaks to the effort put in them, but still that’s really pathetic.

        • derpbutt

          When I get home tonight I’ll try and find the instance where someone accused themselves of stealing and then popped back in later going ‘LOL I WROTE THIS I FORGOT’

          It really happens.

          • CandleClock

            It’s also probable that they saw the words “by derpbutt” and now believe that you’re claiming that you wrote this story.

          • derpbutt

            True, though that would take some impressive logical leaps as well as totally forgetting that, as admin of the site, of course I’m the one who has to do the posting as well. You see, when someone has a story posted here, I email them with a summary of how stories end up on Crappypasta, what to expect, and a link to their pasta. So theoretically, the author should be able to grasp what has happened here. If they really read that email and think that I’m now trying to take credit for their work… I don’t know how to finish this sentence without coming off as extremely rude.

          • http://www.don'taskquestions.com/itcouldbeawesome/oritmightbesomethinghorrible/butit'sprobablyjustalameemptysearchpage/nowwithcookies(tomakeyoufeelbetter).com Aelius Cato

            Wow…. I have no other words…

          • http://chairhiro.tumblr.com/tagged/crappypasta%20bingo The Operator

            http://www.crappypasta.com/bus-in-the-midnight/

            Here you go, Derp. This’s probably what you’re talking about.

          • derpbutt

            Yes, thank you!

          • http://chairhiro.tumblr.com/tagged/crappypasta%20bingo The Operator
      • Alfred Frederick Dinglebottom

        Why would you even admit that this is yours?

    • Starkiller1086

      Now I have you author, I can tell you exactly what I hate about this comment. For starters derpbutt had enough guts to put this crappypasta on this website. It’s your fault it turned out crap so you get the hate. Plus derpbutt has to post it otherwise this wouldn’t be here.

  • TheInsaneIdiot

    Wow… Just wow… This is just horrible. You take the name from a character in Naruto nd turn her into a creepypasta?? That is just stupid. And to make it even worse, it’s a BEN Drowned fanfic?
    -10/10 It was fucking horrible.

  • FlibbleLibble

    I’m not up to date with the Creepypasta rules, but this breaks the following:

    1. Never include the word creepypasta in your story.

    2. Never rip-off anyone’s story.
    3. Challenge yourself, and don’t go for obvious subjects.

    Oh yeah, and The Operators gonna have a fit with crappypasta bingo with this.

    • http://chairhiro.tumblr.com/tagged/crappypasta%20bingo The Operator

      I did Crappy Bingo with this one.

      Spaces ticked off (I’m using Crappy Bingo 3.0, which still hasn’t been released to the general public) – Self-Insert, Addressing the reader (you’re next-style ending), unnecessary name-dropping of popular creepypasta (really? ben drowned? this one’s kind of arguable tho), multiple words misspelt, nothing spooky actually happens, 5+ categories.

      That’s six spaces.

      That’s a new high score.

  • proxy

    You guys need to stop being so mean…even if you didn’t like the story, you could at least just give advice on how to improve it instead of saying that you hate it so much…seriously, you’re all being immature and stupid and if you don’t like it then why’s you even keep reading or comment on it? You’re all heartless little pricks and I hope Slenderman finds you and rips off your limbs…. -_-

    • madinverse

      You Don Quixote’s of misguided chivalry always make me laugh. Your friend should have their story submissions critiqued by Harlan Ellison. Now that man IS a heartless prick.

    • lunaisepic

      We couldn’t make this better there is no fucking way, this would ever get any kind of good feedback at all. Were just telling it like it is. Sorry to say it, but this was utter shit as I said before

    • http://chairhiro.tumblr.com/tagged/crappypasta%20bingo The Operator

      You seem to have misunderstood the fundamental purpose of this website. But I’ll humour you for a little bit, and tell you exactly why this story sucked!

      First and foremost, the character’s name sucked. Sakura (unnecessary japanese name, makes the author seem like a weaboo) EMELY (misspelled, all caps for no reason) Drowned (DROWNED ISN’T EVEN BEN’S LAST NAME WHAT THE FUCK). I mean, really, who would name one kid and another something that looks like it’s straight out of a bad anime?!

      ‘BEN’s secrete twin sister’
      >Implying not self-insert

      ‘In school they were bullied, at home their father abused of them.’
      Does all bad self-insert pasta have this backstory? Yeah, yeah, tragic life and all. Move on.

      ‘They were playing in the side of the lake when the bullies grab both of them and drowned them. ‘
      Why? You never state why the bullies are doing this to them. Those aren’t bullies, those are plot devices!

      ‘The spirit was going to grant one of them a wish to be in the leyend of zelda’
      It’s Legend of Zelda… besides, why would a mystical spirit choose Legend of fuckin’ Zelda? Or a game, in general!

      ‘She was forgotton bye the others and name was changed to Sakura Haruno. ‘
      That name’s quite possibly the stupidest thing I’ve read… It reads like a weaboo who’s only ever watched anime without ever going to Japan would make it, seeing as both are taken straight out of anime.

      ‘but sometimes she haunts her game: Skywards Sword. Just remember that…’
      Why would-wh-wh-Skyward Sword was released only about a year ago, how would she haunt it if she had died earlier (following the Ben Drowned timeline, and believe me, I know more about it than you do)?!

      ‘She’s Always There, Watching..’
      Cliched you’re next-style ending. Boooring.

      Is that enough evidence for you? 1/10!

      • Lurky

        I’m not exactly sure why you’d spend the time to critique this. There’s nothing redeemable here…

        • http://talesfromdickcounty.tumblr.com The Operator

          ‘even if you didn’t like the story, you could at least just give advice on how to improve it’

          Their exact words.

          I simply did as they asked.

    • Scyanide

      You haven’t been here long enough. Also, hoping a mannequin in a business suit kills me isn’t a very threatening insult.

    • sif_vicious

      Starts comment with “stop being so mean.”
      Ends with “I hope slenderman rips off your limbs.”
      Welp. I think I’ve had my fill of fecal fetticini for the night.

  • leklek

    This doesn’t even deserve a star or even be in this website for that matter. Ugh!

  • http://chairhiro.tumblr.com/tagged/crappypasta%20bingo The Operator

    EMELY Drowned. All caps. Good naming scheme. A+. Bonus japanese name because japanese = cool, amirite?

    I attempted to capture whatever the author was thinking when they named the character. I think I did an excellent job.

  • QuiteGamer

    Proxy, I think you’re confusing pastas that could be improved, with crap that wasn’t even spent half an hour to develop, so more like diarrhea.

    People who make an honest effort will receive their well deserved constructive criticism. However people who steal an already existing pasta, and ruins it with countless spelling errors etc, will be mocked. Simply because it’s selfish and a waste of other’s time.

  • Dark Kyurem

    Wait…. BEN can secrete twin sisters now?

  • Jess

    Can’t do it. Can’t stop giggling. She/he thought his last name was Drowned. Next child named. Done. “Spell the name for the birth certificate, honey.” Capital B, capital e. ..”

  • Ahriannah

    Im really sorry hon. It has been a long time since I have commented on a pasta. However, This was horrid. I am not sure what you were going for, but I think you missed it. The Supermarket Monster was a more entertaining pasta than this one. Please put more thought into what you post. This is slightly depressing otherwise.

    • jacobreader

      At least the Zerg Rush aren’t hosting a massive upvote on this pasta.

  • SpectralBeast

    Sakura Haruno from Naruto? REALLY? Fucking Naruto, the worst anime ever created (besides Bleach) is where you get the inspiration for your character’s name? Even Crappypasta stories are losing creativity nowadays and that’s saying something for a story that’s on a site for lacking creativity.

    • Ahriannah

      Ouch that is being a little harsh on Bleach. Im pretty sure Black Butler translated a bit worse to anime than Bleach did. And to put it into a comment as a place of refrence for this story? That hurts my inner Otako

  • A Zergling (Missing His Tophat)

    it seems (shitty) origin stories are the cool thing nowdays, so i will write my own;
    once apon a time there was a zerg hive. a zergling egg hacthed and the zergling wandered out with a group of other zerg into dick county. along the way the ‘ling found a tophat and put it on. then the zergling and his intelligence and ability to critisize saw what awful enviroment the county was, so he and the zerg with him found a hideout somewhere with working electricity, internet, etc. this tophat wearing zergling then went from pasta to pasta with critisism to dish out to the moronic writers. he also organized zerg rushes and other ways to dispose of writers that deserved it. then one day ahriannah stole his tophat, and he freaked out. now he is trying to get his hat back while critisising pastas, goofing off in the comments, etc. now we are on to the present time now where i, this zergling, am writing this comment. and now i must say that words cannot explain how sorry i am for writing this shit origin, but it had to be done. i am SO… SO… SORRY!

  • Anonymous

    Tip for writers- Never take names from other cultures and use them for characters who aren’t related to that culture in any way because they sound cool, pretty, etc.

    Especially if they’re Japanese.

    Because it makes you look like a weeaboo.


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