CRAPPYPASTA

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SKYRIM TRUE STORY

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So, you guys will never believe me, but I had the creepiest thing happen to me. A version of Skyrim, one that came from someplace not on earth. There dark magic evils inside the case, and if you ever see it, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! So, are you ready to begin? I hope so.

Now I’m a thirteen year old, hardcore sick gamer. I have mastered many a game, playing with skills far beyond most kids. To put it simply, I’m a game freak, and I am proud to call myself one. My life is entrenched within the virtual world, and the moment I wring every achievement, every record from the game, I move on. I’ve been kicked out of proffessional gaming tournaments because I have won too often. Ya, cool right? Any a way, I recently tried out Skyrim. I was hesitant at first, why should I try a crap dump of an RPG, the mechanics are freaking screwy man. I didn’t want any part of it, at all, anytime anywhere. The game was too mainstream, every kid played it. I seeked out harder,m more challenging games. A few of my friends, or kids who like to hang out with me because I’m just so awesome, tried to convince me to play Skyrim. But the one thing that no one knows is this, I play haunted games. Since I was little, I have plaid many haunted games, and conquered them all. Spirits of different dimensions doen’t faze me. They be all faggy. So, I’m always on the lookout for some good haunted games. Unlike a lot of creepypastas which are all crap and no substance. So, this is where my story begins. I woke up one morning, and played some video games. It was seven o clock, a friday, a school day, the fourteenth minute, but it was all good, why, because I was playing some mfo video games. Some that were really good and very hard, or hard for other people, I started the hardest difficulty of a new game that morning and was about to finish it perfectly an hour later. And then, a scream. Blood curdling, hair raising, air shattering, wind bending, soul slicing scream that sounded so sharp, so shrill that it could cut through hell itself. I wanted t o see what it was, maybe it was a girl that I could make my personal slave. I was looking for a girl to use. The older ones always wanted to use me, but I denied them the honor. So, I thought it might do me some good to see what the scream was about. I looked around, rested my hands on the cushions, pushed and syood simultaneously to achieve lift, getting myself to my feet, rounded my mahognay end table, and left through the open doorway out to my mahogany door with gold rimming and opened it and left though it and shut it behind me as to not let in creatures or thiefs who want to know my secrets. And there, next to my Cadallac, was Skyrim. A copy of the game, as normal, for the PC. It was black, and the symbol was slightly off. There was blood on the metal, and it gleamed in the sunlight. I picked it up, and thought I could hear a little girl saying, I want you to play this game. I accepted, achallenge I supposed it was. I fired up my homemade computer, with 10 GB’s of Ram, A terabytes of storage memory, graphic cards that would screw over the Crysis series, and a custom mouse made for gaming, modded off of a thousand dollar mouse. I was about to put in the disc when I realized there was no disc to put it in. Suddenly though, I heard the same scream, this time it sounded like a grown woman being wipped by a whip. Her shouts were that of desperation, of torture, and of pain. It was there for a milisecond, and then gone before I could barely hear it. Then, Skyrim booted up on my game. And then, I played a new game. The opening wasn’t traditional. DEven though I pressed new game, It came out with an already made character. He was a naked man, or witha lloincloth, but isntead of the powerful men and women who you normally play as, he was lanky and sickly looking. Suddenly, in the game, he withdrew a knife, and unlike anything I’ve ever seen, cut his own foot off. Blood pumped prfusely from the leg, and it painted the earth a dark burgnady. The foot in his hand still pumped with the yeins. The toes were curcled and the blood leaked down the avatar’s arm. Then, the old man licked the blood off of his foot and licked his foot once. he then got the bloody wound and painted his face with it. His eyes became black, and chants of demons arose from around me. The avatar looked at me, and a tongue like a serpent came out dipped in sacred holy blood. From that tongue came evil, twisted words that I didn’t unjderstrand, but knew he was talking to me. His moouth enhinged and blood seeped through the eyes, the mouth, the ears, and the neck. Did I mention the neck was now crooked, at an an angle, bent with bone coming out. Now there was a dragon, flying through the woods and it collapsed bnecause I suddenly was on fire, and was made of wood, and had fangs like a white tyrannasarous rex. Deayh was pounding my screen, calling for me to make advanmentd, but angels descended from HEaven andhell, cominging with blood in a mixture of uneblievable death destrction. Amini spaocolaypes. Ooooo. Lymdijslijlh. MY life had become a solitary lie inside of SKyrim and my mind had degraded to vegan much that you eat with crackers, it was too much. The blackness was so pretty. The whiteness was hatered. The everything was dark and the men were astonishgly miserable. Tooooooo muyc

It had be en five months, and suddenly, the avatar died. When the game reloaded, a message appeared. “GG”
THe game closed and uninstalled, and when I tried to start it again it wouldn’t install. The computer burst into blood flames. I looked down at my hands, which were covered in blood, and screaming jumped into the fire.
THE EDN. Blood deaaaaath SKDJKS
Credit To – Yo mama, and Mohmmad

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SKYRIM TRUE STORY, 2.1 out of 10 based on 27 ratings
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16 Comments

  1. I-I can’t- I just…

    Derpbutt, you must be the most patient man ever. After this one, I would go bonkers and start living up in the mountain, eating boars. Still living boars…

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    • Is there any other way to eat boars?

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      Rating: 4.9/5 (8 votes cast)
  2. I think this is a troll. Not sure though.

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    Rating: 4.9/5 (7 votes cast)
    • On crappypasta, you’d be surprised at the shit some people consider ‘crehpe’.

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      • “Because I’m just so awesome” well it has to be either a troll or an 8-year-old.

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        • Or a 14-year-old ‘swag’-obsessed teenager who does nothing but throw racial and homophobic slurs at other people online while playing Call of Duty. I have seen too many people who fit that exact category and write/speak similar to this. Even the bullshit bragging fits the deal.

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  3. I gotta say, this one of the worst things I ever read, It isn’t funny bad, its horrible bad. The protagonist, I hate from the beginning, with him being too perfect at everything and anything. Spelling mistakes that make it so I can’t understand what is going on. It feels like some stuff was left out, but that should be a positive. Pointless gore, and it’s obvious that the author hasn’t played Skyrim at all, just thought he could write a creepypasta out of it. I feel there is nothing good about this, and there are plenty of mistakes, but to list them all would be futile. I applaud derpbutt for having to read this and any other garbage like this. It is nothing I could do,

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  4. “I’ve been kicked out of proffessional gaming tournaments because I have won too often.”
    Well, at least you have your ten nobel prizes, your solid gold mansion, and the ownership of the baltic states and scandinavia, minus Norway.

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  5. No… not Skyrim… Why…

    Seriously though, kids. This is an example of why you should play video games in MODERATION. Otherwise you start talking like this author, and someone is going to end up shooting you or themselves to end their misery.

    Stop.

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  6. “I have plaid many haunted games”

    Played=Plaid

    Hmm.

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  7. ENOUGH WITH THE VIDYA GAYM PARODY PASTAS!
    Seriously!!!!! What the hell!

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  8. When he started saying his friends hung out with him because he is so awesome, I got the distinct feeling this was going to be bad.

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  9. You know, I find it really difficult to read something when the author tries so hard to make the protagonist an insufferable douchecanoe.

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  10. This was so horribly put together I couldn’t get past the 2nd paragraph. Try again. 2/10

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  11. Hush it up, now it’s my turn for criticism
    Acting like an eight year old never leave your house
    But like all the other kids you don’t go play all about
    Playin games like you hardcore
    Please no more
    Lying bout yourself like you always beating high scores
    Want some more reasons why yo pastas crap
    Lemme stop and explain them in a rap
    All the bad grammar like a grammar galore
    Never buying games so you look all through the inter webz like a pawn store
    Good bye I’ll keep these rhymes in taste for the next poor score
    But always keep writin like parkour

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  12. If you notice errors it’s because I lost a few brain cells after reading this story.

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (6 votes cast)

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