CRAPPYPASTA

For those pastas that are smelling less than fresh…


Slender

| 21 Comments

What started as a normal family trip to my Grandma’s house turned out to be one of the best times of my life.

I have always had that charm of an insane obsessed person and lately I fell in love with the Slendermen. I dressed as one, decorated my room with them, and only looked at them on the computer. My friends laughed and just said I was obsessed but I wanted to be a Slenderman more then life its self.

My Grandma lived in a large, creaky, black painted house on the edge of a large forest. Ever second weekend of the mounth we would go down to see her and my brother and two sisters would play in the woods. It was a chilly mid-fall day the clouds barely letting sun through them and the wind rustling the dying leaves.. the perfect day for a Slenderman siting. My brother and sisters were to wimpy to go out into the cold windy day so I went alone. I walked and walked seeing nothing, but  trees and the occasional animal. Frustrated I ran toward the darkest part of the forest hoping less light would bring me my Slenderman. By the time I had calmed down I couldn’t see any thing in front of me, but rising fog. I heard the small rustle of footsteps behind me turning expecting to see my brother or one of my sisters, but about thirty feet behind me was the thing I loved most in the world. The blank white head in the branches of the tree, the long arms hanging to his knees, the perfect black suit. “Come here Mr. Slenderman I want you!” I yelled out towards him. He just stood there. Perplexed I thought about all the things I knew about Slendermen and turned around. I turned my head over my shoulder to see him five feet closer, I did it again , and so did he. I continued to do this in tell he was right behind me. “Oh Mr. Slenderman.” I said reaching my hand out and toughing his chest. His ink black tentacles shot out around my arm holding it in place. I moved my other arm around his body to feel the hole in the cloth where his tentacles protruded. He responded by griping it tightly in place. “Make me into a Slenderman.” I said staring up where his eyes should be. He tipped his head slightly as to question what I had said. “I want nothing more in the world then to be one of you.” I said looking on him with pleading eyes. A black line where his mouth would be formed he opened it to show a large hole of teeth. He picked me up and then a milky feeling darkness surrounded me, but I never fell into sleep. I opened my eyes to see an empty forest in the middle of the day because it was so clear, but when I picked my self up I noticed my body fet different. I looked down at my self to see a long slender body covered in a form fitting suit. I was a Slenderman. Now I walk the darkness picking who is food and who will be the next air of the Slendermen line.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rate This Pasta
Rating: 2.1/10 (22 votes cast)
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: -9 (from 17 votes)
Slender, 2.1 out of 10 based on 22 ratings
FavoriteLoadingAdd this crappypasta to your list of favorites!

21 Comments

  1. Stop with the Slendertwilights, okay?

    Report comment

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 5.0/5 (5 votes cast)
  2. Slendy is like, the cutest boy ever though! I just want him to caress me in his strong, manly tentacles..

    Report comment

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 5.0/5 (7 votes cast)
  3. In addition to being generally awful this broke all three of my rules for writing slenderman pastas.

    Report comment

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 5.0/5 (4 votes cast)
  4. excuse me While I enter rage mode for a second here.
    SLENDERMAN IS NOT A DREAMY MYSTERY BOY. HES NOT GONNA LAY DOWN NEXT TO YOU IN A FIELD OF FLOWERS OR CARRY YOU AROUND ON HIS BACK. WHAT THE HELL INTERNET. GREAT FUCK. rage mode aborted. I can’t even…
    I can’t handle this. But I think I know two guys who can….

    Report comment

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 5.0/5 (9 votes cast)
  5. I want to hang myself now……Undeadmuffins, I see what you did there. :-3 “Great Fuck!”

    Report comment

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 5.0/5 (2 votes cast)
  6. And we all know one of those “Two guys” won’t be able to handle this…*cough*

    Report comment

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 5.0/5 (3 votes cast)
  7. Okay, one last thing: “Make me into a Slenderman?” I never knew Slenderman had his own species.

    Report comment

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 5.0/5 (6 votes cast)
  8. Alternate ending: Slenderman tears your F*cking head off then rapes your neck hole until the internet starts to make sence again!!!

    Report comment

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 4.3/5 (7 votes cast)
  9. Slenderman is NOT a mysterious pretty boy.
    It is a killing machine! It knows nothig more in life than KILL!

    KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    THIS WASN’T A CREEPY PASTA, AND NOT EVEN A PASTA!!!!!!!!!!

    Report comment

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 4.8/5 (5 votes cast)
  10. Slenderman+ Twilight? I never, ever thought of that combination. What has been seen cannot be unseen. Now if you excuse me, I’ll be giving myself a concussion by smashing my head to my desk. Wish me luck. ;)

    Report comment

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 5.0/5 (6 votes cast)
  11. Christ, this is worse than commando vs slenderman. At least that one mostly characterized Slenderman correctly.

    And if I ever see any fucking sparkling in one of these, death will come on swift wings to the author.

    Report comment

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 5.0/5 (12 votes cast)
  12. ….. I…… uh… but I… this is………

    I give up.

    Report comment

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 5.0/5 (3 votes cast)
  13. Yossarian, you get 5 stars because I can’t give you ten.

    It’s like you were trying to come up with a reasonable way for Slenderman to survive forever, but then Stephanie Meyer broke in and took over. Please tell me that’s what happened.

    Report comment

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  14. Just when I thought Slenderman stories couldn’t get any worse someone has to come along and prove me wrong. The fact someone wrote this steaming pile of crap tells me there’s very little hope for humanity.

    Report comment

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 5.0/5 (7 votes cast)
  15. Guys! Guys…calm down. I already hunted down, and killed the author. I am no loving person, and I can not make you into, “A Slenderman.” I am the one only Slenderman that exists in this world. Thanks, TVATR for letting me use your computer.

    Report comment

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 5.0/5 (7 votes cast)
  16. I’m glad slenderman was nice enough to comment and restore my faith in humanity (as well as my faith in slender…manity)

    Report comment

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
  17. This pasta (and more importantly the comments) just gave birth to a new phrase: “Still a better pasta than slendertwilight”

    Report comment

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 5.0/5 (4 votes cast)
  18. Note to author: I hate everything about you, you miserable piece of shit. Just…. give up.

    Report comment

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 4.6/5 (5 votes cast)
  19. Absolutely Terrible. You Have Ruined Slenderman. You Should Go Find Some Other Stupid Thing To Write About And Leave Slenderman Alone.

    Fuck You. Miserable Piece Of Shit.

    Report comment

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
  20. DarkShadows.EXE has encountered a fatal common sense error and was shut down to prevent further damage to sanity.

    If this is the first time you have encountered this Slenderfan sanity error, please expose DarkShadows.EXE to a professional Slendervlog program such as MarbleHornets.EXE or GoodSlenderPasta.BAT, then reboot and try to run DarkShadows.EXE again.

    Stopcode: FUCKWTFSLENDERMANDOESNOTDOTHISSHITARGARGATAH+OIshasofhdS

    Report comment

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
  21. I… I’m just going to go back to creepypasta.com now.
    I just… I don’t think I can deal with crappypasta anymore. Most of the stories on this site are awful, but this… This was the final straw.

    Report comment

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rate This Comment
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

Leave a Reply

Required fields are marked *.