CRAPPYPASTA

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Spongebob’s day off

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My life long dream was to become an animator at nickelodeon, and when I got the job, as you can guess, I was happier than a dog with a bone. However, I wasn’t happy for long, because on my first day on the job, I found a disc on my desk that read “Animation Instruction Video”. Seeing this as strange because I had already gone to college, I put it in, thinking it was a prank from the boss.

The first thing I noticed was the title, as always. It was the average, joyful hawaiian text. It said “Spongebob’s Day Off”. I thought “I knew it was a prank!”, and then thought “Wait a second. What kind of prank would a normal spongebob episode? There has to be something more.”

It then began with spongebob walking out of his house with his hat on, singing I’m ready, I’m ready! Squidward told him to shutup and stop saying I’m ready, so spongebob stopped and walked to the Krusty Krab. At the Krusty Krab, spongebob was cooking Krabby Patties like normal. I was enjoyng the episode until patrick walked in. That’s when things got creepy.

Patrick walked in looking angry, and he obviously wanted a Krabby Patty. Squidward said something like “Spongebob, we need 20 Krabby Patties on the double.” Then turned to face patrick and said “That will be 20 dollars Patrick.” Patrick gave a furious reply and yelled “I DIDN’T COME HERE TO PAY FOR MY PATTIES!!!” And then started chasing squidward. He caught squidward, and began to choke him. That’s when spongebob ran out and saw him. “Patrick, put squidward down this instant!” Patrick replied by dropping squidward and sayong “Okay, then. You want to go? Fine then!”

They began to fight. Patrick was about to kill spongebob when he pulled out his spatula. “Patrick, I didn’t want to do this, but you leave me no choice.” He stabbed patrick through the stomach and with a loud screech, he died. Spongebob tried to get up, but he couldn’t. Instead, he got up to his knees and began to sob. After 5 minutes of this, the sobbing was replaced by maniacal laughter. He got up to his feet, gave squidward an insane grin, revealing several rows of sharp teeth, and said “Hello squidward!” His voice sounded like it was reversed, but at the same time not reversed. “Let’s have some fun!” He swiftly ran towards squidward and cut his head off, and then he said “Taking a nap isn’t fun! Shame on you!” And gutted squidward. “I’m hungry!” And then ate his entrails.

He then looked at me and his eye popped out, hanging by a single nerve cord. Suddenly the Krusty Krab lit on fire. In the background, you could see Mr.Krabs running and screaming, burning to death. He then looked at me and said”Would you like a Krabby Patty?” His head twisted off and the video ended.

I went to the bosses office an asked if he pranked me and he told me to watch the video with him. His face went horribly pale.”My brother who was the previous animator made an episode called spongebob’s day off.” He said. “He is dead now. I’m going to have to fire you, there is a higher chance he won’t find you if you dont have the job.” At that point, I was glad I didn’t have the job. What I saw was messed up, and if you apply for being an animator, do not watch that disc if you find it! It is to messed up. I didn’t get any sleep for a few days, and when I do, I only get abut 5 hours tops. Ask the boss if his brother made an episode called spongebob’s day off, and if he says yes but he’s dead now, QUIT THE JOB!!!
Credit To – Michael B.

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10 Comments

  1. I am incredibly sorry for this pasta. Back then, I didn’t know as much about grammar as I do now. As for the clichés, I now realize that there were more than I expected. With every post, I try harder, and my goal is to make a decent one that is good enough for the main page. Please do not hate me for my terrible pastas, as I only wish to entertain. Have a nice day, I will see you on the next post. P.S., I have submitted a pasta called Joseph, and I hope it’s better than this one.

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    • As long as you’re trying and using the feedback received here to better your writing, I certainly don’t hate you. That’s what we’re here for!

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    • Everyone here respects the fact that not every pasta will be good. What we disrespect are the authors who don’t try. The authors who try and defend their work when it’s quite clearly not good enough. Judging from your comment you can write. Hopefully you’ll write something original, that’s the main issue with the pasta above. It’s a premise that has been done to death.

      I think all authors should come to this site before they even consider writing a pasta. It’ll give people a good idea of what works and what doesn’t.

      Good luck with your new pasta, I hope it’s a success. If it ends up here I will be sure to keep you in mind when I criticise it. Considering that you’re actively trying to better yourself I’ll be as helpful as I can.

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    • You haven’t blatantly wasted our time or submitted a woefully unfunny attempt at a trollpasta or some god awful fanfic selfinsert, that’s a nice start. You made a some grammatical errors but your story is still readable, that’s more than I could say for 85% of the other pastas on this website.

      The most important thing is, you made an actual effort and intend on improving. That’s all we can ask for, or me anyway I can’t speak for everyone, but that’s the reason this website exists. For the few who put forth effort and then better themselves when they fail.

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      • I have to go along with Derp and AC here. Most of the regulars have no problem with people who put out effort, no matter how bad it may come out. I certainly don’t. I hate when people waste Derp’s and everyone else’s time with what they think is funny by trying to troll.

        Keep up the effort, take the constructive criticism and get better. You can’t get better if you stop trying.

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    • Wow, this is refreshing. Someone that actually admits to their mistakes and plans to improve. I look forward to reading your future posts.

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  2. It’s a good thing you are nice and not just whining about it bieng on Crappypasta like other authors.

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  3. Thank you for understanding, guys. I certainly appreciate it.

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  4. Thanks, guys! You have inspired me to make another one. Unfortunately, it is currently a closed submission period. But on the bright side, that gives me the time to think of an awesome, original idea.

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    • One bit advice I’ll give you before you submit your next one.

      If it is not finished in time for the next submission period don’t rush it and send it in anyway. Take your time on it. There is no true deadline.

      Loads of people submit unfinished work then complain that we’ve been rude about it.

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