Me and my freind rented a flat last year and we got it for a steal. Why you may ask? well the reason was quite simple, several childeren were brutally ripped apart by wolves there. me and my freind decided we dident care.
After we moved in completely my cheese went missing, you see cheese is a big deal to me becuase im a vegitarian and therefore dont eat meat. anyway i went up to my freind and said “hey William have you seen my cheese?” and to my suprise he responded “no” i was at a loss i could have sworn i left my cheese in the fridge.
The next week i noticed my milk was missing as well, this was getting out of control! The sudden loss of dairy products had flabbergasted me. i decided that this was a chance for me to tests my skills.
So the next night i sat on top of the fidge and waited for the dairy bandit… waiting, watching, the night was so dark it was like somone had thrown a black persons skin over the regular sky. At around 12:00 i heard foot steps in the kitchen, I saw a figure though then darkness, thank god i wat alot of carrots. He stepped closer and i thought. what if he saw me? what if he knows im here.
Then i felt a horrible feeling it welled in my nostrils and began to make them burn with anxity, i had to sneeze, the bandit stepped closer and closer then he stopped in his trails. I watched him wide-eyed then i heard a creak… and the fridge collapsed in on itself and i fell to the ground. there i lay with my leg in all these funky angles and i screamed “owwwwwy owwwy ohhhhh” *roll to one side* “owwwwwy owwwww owww” there i lay clutching my shin, its snapped like a black guys dream of winning the olympic gold metal in swimming.
I heard the footsteps approching me and i grabbed the leg of my butcher table and slammed my leg against it i held in my cries of pain and i split my shin in two and i grabbed the broken bone from the slit in my skin, it was sharpend with the fracturing of the bone, and i took it and i crawled towards the man being as silent as possable, as he got almost next to me i lay silent with the bone in my right hand.
As he stepped next to me i grabbed his leg and bit it, he fell and i worked my way up his body and stabbed him in the temple with my shin bone. As i did he started dissolving slowly in to a substance, a creamy substance. he was my milk.
I called the cops and they arrived minutes later i was on the verge of dieing and before they wheeled me into the van they asked me “why did you do it?” i said “ThAt FuCkEr STOLE my MILKK” and passed out.
I awoke years later in a glass case, i hit the glass and fell out with a single tap of the glass. A man approced me a man iv seen before, Walt Disney. i stood up… and i said “Walt how the hell did i do that” he responded with a grin ” those my freind, are premium human legs, harvested for a reason. We need to finish what we started in Serbia in the late 1800′s” i looked at him with aguish “I told you that was over nobody needed to get hurt it was all a result of the assassination of the archduke” as i stepped back he stepped closer “I know but what you did that day sparked a war to end all wars” he said, “i know” i replied “walt” i said “If you know whats good for you, you should go back into hiding the modern world is no place for you” i said. “MODERN! This is not modern look at this shit” he pulled out a ray gun a shot a hole in the wall i rannto the corner of the room and he slowly walked towards me.
“So… This is how it all ends” he wwalked to me and said “no one can kill walt disney! NO ONE!” as he looked at me a slapped the gun out of my fce and it flew into the air and onto the floor i ran and jumped out of the window.
I fell several feet from a highrise and landed on a balcony i rolled to the side to avoid leg damage and i broke the sliding glass door to the room within, sure enough there was Walt. “Well Walt you caught me what now?” he stepped towards me and said “move” he motioned the front of his wepon towards the balcony, i accepted the fact that this is where i was going to die i walk towards the baclony stepped to the railing and looked down. We were above the clouds he looked at me then said “now jump”. thats when i got an idea. i wrapped my legs around his neck and jumped…
as we fell i looked at him and i saw he was just a dummy, one of those summys with wheat inside of them.
and i said to my self with my last breath before i hit the ground but..but then WHO WAS WALT DISNEY.
Credit To – BRANDON GERBER