For those pastas that are smelling less than fresh…

The door isn’t locked


The Door isn’t locked.
Dylan Rainford.

You’re sitting on the toilet having your own private time. You’ve got a book open in front of you, you’re on the 155th page, you’re enjoying it. You figure you’d get some reading done while you’re home alone for the evening. The door is locked 4 feet beside you to your right, locked by force of habit. As you’re sitting there, the lights above you flicker going out for only a second causing you to look up from your book. You noticed a face with no complexion starring at you and as quick as you see it it’s gone.
‘What the fuck?’ you say out loud without thinking, you stay fixated on the mirror for a little longer, you can’t wrap your head around what you just saw. Your eyes slowly make your way back down to the book in your hands. The pages are black to your surprise. You gasp and try to figure out what is happening, you flip through the pages like a mad man, trying to find some sort of writing. You flip to the 312th page, the words THE DOOR ISN’T LOCKED are staring back at you. Your head turns towards the door in shock, the book was right. Your eyes are fixated on the door, what the hell is going on?! Under the door you notice something moving, something is making it’s way under the door. An eternally long grey finger slides under the door and climbs up to the door knob very slowly.
You have no time to think about what to do, the finger wraps around the door knob and turns. The door slowly opens, standing before you is an indescribable creature, jaw ajar with rows upon rows of fingers for teeth. It advances in on you, you open your mouth to scream but nothing is heard as it devours you. You’re never seen again.

Happy pooping

Credit To: Dylan Rainford

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  • Yossarian

    Clearly this guy did not remember Rule #3 of the zombie apocalypse: Beware of Bathrooms.

    Happy pooping.

  • TheOminousFeeling

    Good story. “Happy pooping” at the end relived tension. Of awful, I can see this on the main site


    One of the biggest questions I’ve ever had to face in my life is wondering how the hell this received 7 stars.

  • ClockworkLizard

    I will never go into a bathroom again. Adult diapers for everyone!

  • Beefnuts

    Why did the monster have to reach under the door to open it if it wasn’t locked?? plus finger teeth wont eat through shit! (pun unintended) 😛

  • Aaron


  • TU4AR

    10/10 for ‘Happy pooping.’

  • Redzos


  • Jonathan

    In the bathroom is never safe.

  • An Adorable Ferret

    “Quick, Ferr! Before you read, make a comment about private time, not bothering to check if anyone else did!” Well, if you say so, brain.

    So, private time.

    Me so horny.

    • Ryan

      Ferret, you’re going about this all wrong. *pulls out jar of mayo and duct tape*

  • TheOminousFeeling



  • Dave Taylor

    I was going to speculate on why it mattered if the door was locked or not, since surely something that can reach inside and twist the handle could just as easily reach inside and unlock it first; or why it had to reach under an unlocked door to get up to an unlocked door knob in the first place; or why some Lovecraftian terror not from the spaces we know but between them needs to open a door rather than breaking it down and/or chewing through it with its rows upon rows of monstrous teeth – but then… “Happy pooping.”


  • JohnPawn

    This story sucks so much balls. It’s not entertaining in the slightest. Also, your grammar sucks nutsacks.

    • Enoskoan

      Are you obsessed with testicles?

    • bigmac419

      Why are you talking about yourself in the third person?

  • TTocs

    I will never poop again

  • shawneeh

    Man I have to go to the bathroom and is almost 1am dammit

  • http://idonthaveone happe

    I liked the part where i skipped the whole thing after i read the first word.

  • Diego Parada-Lopez

    He is in Garland, Texas which is where I live in the movie of Zombieland

  • Potato

    I laughed so hard I started crying. My parents thought I was depressed again until they read this. They laughed even harder.



  • SkeletalRose

    Hehe “Happy Pooping” cx That was great! I respect you for this ^^

  • Elias

    There should be a holiday called ‘that crappypasta poop thing day’ where everyone runs around saying happy pooping!

  • Clockwork Candle

    You’re sitting on the toilet having your own private time. You’ve got a book openin front of you, you’re on the 155th page, you’re enjoying it. You figure you’d get some reading done while you’re home alone for the evening.

    Haha, no I’m not.