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Unknown number

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ADMIN NOTE: This has been successfully rewritten & resubmitted. The new version will be published on the main Creepypasta site on October 4th, 2012.

“JESUS!!” I cried.
Being Jolted from a half dose at a quarter to midnight by my new ‘halloween theme’ ringtone didnt do wonders for my heart-rate, especially since I’d momenterally forgot I’d changed the tone at all that day.
Took me a while to find my phone stuck down the side of the armchair I was sitting in, not helped by the fact that the only light in the sitting room was the static on the widescreen tv.
“unknown number.”
I answered it, there was no-one there.
To be honest I was expecting heavy breathing on the other end as I was still a little freaked out, but there was no noise at all.
I hung up, took a deep breath and frowned- Maybe I just pocket dialled myself.
My old phone could make a self call designed to create a diversion, although I wasnt familiar at all with this piece of crap. Dad bought it from a gas station for twenty bucks a few days ago, I lost my Iphone on a trip to the city last week.
I flicked through the features on the menu screen trying to find such an option, but didnt have much luck, for one thing I didnt have my glasses on, plus the screen was about half the size of a credit card.
I cursed and decided to watch T.V. instead to take my mind off things.
I tried using the light of my cell to find the remote with little success.
Groaning out of laziness, I hauled myself out of the chair to get to the lightswitch.
Stopping halfway, I registered the fact that I had the T.V. on the satillite channels when I fell asleep yet now: static from the analogue Ariel.
I ran the rest of the way to the switch and basically punched it.
Light flooded the room and my darting eyes saw nothing.
After a deep breath, my moment of fear passed, guess I was a little unused to having the whole house to myself.
Mom and Dad were only gone for the night, but it was quite a treat for me since they rarely went anywhere, even during the day.
Nowhere to go but fields around this part of the country, so them going to a friend’s wedding meant I finally had some solitude.
I still couldn’t see the remote so I decided to recheck the sides of the armchair.
I threw my phone on the seat and reached deep down either side.
The Phone rang again at full creepy blast with my ear pressed right up against it.
I agrily grabbed it- “Dammit what!??”
Again, there was dead silence.
Cursing, I threw the phone back on the seat hard.
At that moment, the power went out, thrusting me into total darkness.
With a shriek, I scrambled to grab the phone again and found it in an instant.
Using the screenlight to see, I panicked and bolted down to my room as fast as I could, jumped into bed and pulled the covers.
I was panting hard, from both the run and the fear. I couldnt form any thought for about 5 breaths, until I decided to call dad.
Looking at the screen, I saw I forgot to hang up the last call.
My breath caught in my throat as I saw that the number wasn’t an “unknown number”- It was mine.
My old number from the phone I’d lost.
My terrifed mind began to race through a thousand horrible implacations until I realised something else.

My bed was already warm.

Credit To: Declan McNamara

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  • Niima

    Hmmm…not really deserving to be on “crappy”pasta but not quite creepy pasta. Maybe a few more details, it gets a little “fuzzy” around my phone called itself! So try and give it a little more :) I was a bit creeped out.

  • derpbutt

    I could’ve sworn I commented on this last night, but I was really tired so I probably derped and didn’t hit submit or something.

    Anyhow, I agree with Niima. This isn’t bad by ANY means, I just feel like it needs something more to give it a bit more of a creep factor.

  • Beefnuts

    Second draft in progress, thanks for the pointers guys-If anyone has anymore PLEASE dont hesitate to voice them!! It’s so much harder to re-write than to write in the first place :P

  • Derphone.

    Nice job. :) can’t wait to see the second draft.

  • Beefnuts

    Done and sent :)

  • http://sirchubbybunny.tumblr.com/ AJ

    Can’t wait to see it!

  • RainbowDash

    Very spooky. Just add a few more details in relation to the "my phone called itself" bit

  • Rhetoric

    i loved it. it was actually interesting. however, it wasnt long enough, needs a bit more detail and filler, and I dont know, maybe im just an idiot but i read the ending and thought "wait what?" so i suppose i didnt get it.

  • Beefnuts
    • Alfred Frederick Dinglebottom

      Congratulations!

  • Mr. Judgemental

    I actually liked this one.

    Not too horrible, and readable to the point of being able to picture the scene clearly enough.

    Good job!

  • Ehehehehe

    BUT WHO WAS PHONE???

  • Ehehehehe

    BUT WHO WAS PHONE?

  • MISSINGNO.

    Wow, not too shabby.

  • MAD-obo

    I would maybe change the ending around a bit. Like maybe….. when you noticed that the number that called was your lost phone’s number you decide to call it back. Then you hear it ringing from the closet or under the bed. But i guess that is a bit cliched

  • The Primordial

    This actually wasn’t very bad. Nothing like that French one. I still have nightmares over it.

    • Beefnuts

      wat


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