CRAPPYPASTA

For those pastas that are smelling less than fresh…


the virus

| 17 Comments

one day a man was walking in a jungle. he saw all the animals eating blue vines, so he had some himself. the vine skipped the stomach and went to the back of the left hand. in a matter of seconds the “vines” took over his body. the man possessed is still roaming the jungle, and the animals possessed with the vine are hunting you down to this exact second.
Credit To – andrew klingele

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Rating: -27 (from 33 votes)
the virus, 2.5 out of 10 based on 40 ratings
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17 Comments

  1. “..he saw all the animals eating blue vines, so he had some himself. the vine skipped the stomach and went to the back of the left hand.” I’m not sure how you thing eating works but food goes in the stomach.

    Oh and the title “The Virus” why is this the title? Last time I cheeked blue vines didn’t count as viruses.

    It’s pretty damn obvious you made not the slightest hint of an effort,so you get -10/10 and a downvote.

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (9 votes cast)
  2. So, they are hunting me down to this exact second.

    1 Mississippi – Nope. Nada.
    2 Mississippi – Still nothing.
    3 Mississippi – Vine monsters, I’m waiting!
    Oh, wait, that’s right. I don’t live in a freaking jungle.

    I’m betting you wrote this pasta with crayons.

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  3. 2Spooky4Me.

    Seriously though, who wrote this and actually thought it was scary?

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (9 votes cast)
  4. Such underrated masterspiece!

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    Rating: 4.7/5 (9 votes cast)
  5. Oh my goodness, please, all knowing crappypasta author, please tell us how to survive! I’m terrified, what shall I do with my final moments on this planet?

    Oh god, no, they’re here. They look so tasty, it’s gone to my left hand. I’ve figured it out, I know what I’m going to to do with my last moments on this planet…1….out….of….10….and….a….down….vote.

    djnsbdjfbsjdb <– me dying.

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  6. Complete crap. I’m not going to bother explaining why, just rate it a 1/10.

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    Rating: 5.0/5 (6 votes cast)
  7. that was the WORST thing that I’ve EVER read in my entire life. TRY HARDER NEXT TIME!!!

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    Rating: 1.3/5 (4 votes cast)
  8. “one day a man was walking in a jungle. he saw all the animals eating blue vines, so he had some himself.”
    Why?
    “Bye, dear, just going for a walk through THE DEADLY FUCKING JUNGLE!”

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  9. I know when I take a stroll through the jungle and I see animals eating shit, I can’t help but take a little nibble.

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  10. Wooooooowwwww this was so dumb 1 I’m not in the jungle 2 I’m in school (ya ya I know hate on me because I’m on my iPad during school) but really it was so short dumb and unrealistic

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  11. This- is five sentences. This is not a story, it is a twitter update.

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    Rating: 4.0/5 (2 votes cast)
  12. ‘the “vines” took over his body.’

    Would you say that he DID IT FOR THE VINE?

    *ba-dum tssh*

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  13. …. I wish i could make food go to my hands instead of my stomach.
    I’d finally have a flat stomach!

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  14. Scary thing is I had a dream similar to this. Only, instead of animals in general it was whales. Technicolor whales from space.

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  15. So one day I was strolling through the mountains when I saw some deer licking huge rocks. Then I saw a wolf doing the same thing and thought “why the fuck not?”

    Now I’m a golem. I’m coming at your house as you are reading this! Prepare tea and biscuits!

    Oh! I almost forgot!
    1/10 and a downvote.

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    Rating: 4.5/5 (4 votes cast)

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