CRAPPYPASTA

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Zezima

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It all started when I became a member on RuneScape. I thought RuneScape was just an ordinay MMORPG for a 13 year old kid like me to train skills and meet new friends.. I didn’t know what kind of horrible madness this game truly was.. Until I met him.

It was summer in 2007. I had begged and pleaded for my parents to buy me membership on a game called RuneScape. It took a couple of weeks, but finally it all paid off when my birthday came around. I got socks, clothes, and a lamp. Those were nothing compared to the surprise I had when I went on my account and found they had put their money on my account. I smiled in joy as I thought about all the amazing privileges I could have on the game. This was the best birthday present I got this year.

As weeks passed by, I did nothing but train my skills. “I have to be the best,” I kept telling myself. It got the point where my real life friends stopped talking to me because I had been ignoring them. After school I would come home, finish my homework, and spend the rest of the day playing RuneScape. My parents’ regretted buying me the membership, and they told me that they would stop paying for it because I was addicted and I needed to stop. I tried to reason with them. I tried. They wouldn’t budge. I had to do something, so I took their credit card and paid for it myself. They never noticed the money was gone.

One day, I was on runescape training my skills when I got a message from a guy called Zezima. He asked me if I wanted a blue party hat. I freaked out and told him yes, because party hats were really expensive! We met up in a town called Varrock. I thought it was weird because I was in a highly populated server and there was NOBODY around. I waited patiently for him. When he finally showed up, his avatar was completely black. I thought it was a glitch. I traded him and he put in his party hat, then pressed accept. It was finally mine!! “Thanks for getting that off my hands :)” He said to me.

“No problem, why are you giving out free party hats anyway?” I asked. It all seemed a little too strange. “Haha you’ll see!” He said before he went offline. Yeah, it was strange, but I didn’t care because I was rich now. A couple days passed by and I was feeling cooler than ever flaunting my new riches. Everyone was jealous of me as I strolled through Lumbridge wearing one of the most expensive items in the game. People were dumbfounded. It was all fun and games, until I got another message from Zezima.

“Meet me at Varrock,” he said. I asked him why but he never responded, so I went to varrock hesitantly. I hope he doesn’t want the hat back, because I’m not giving it to him if he does. Once again, the popular world I was in now was empty. People seemed to disappear when he was around. He showed up, but this time, his avatar was white. I asked him how that happend. “Give me back the hat,” he demanded, ignoring my question. “No, it’s mine now.” I said to him. Out of nowhere, he pulled out his red dragon longsword and started stabbing me in the middle of a town where you are not able to fight. I yelled, “He hacks! He hacks! He hacks!” My mother burst through the door of my bedroom and shouted, “Who hacks?!”

I didn’t answer her. She pulled me away from the laptop, and told me to calm down. I sat there staring at the screen as Zezima killed me in one hit and took all my stuff. “You need to stop this!” My mother said. “He hacks.” I said. Mother threw her arms down and stomped out of the room in frustration. I went back to the laptop and tried to find someone to tell, but nobody was there. I went to the bank to discover ALL of my items missing. Zezima ran off with my whole bank!

Zezima appeared beside me and I felt this feeling of dread and discomfort. He just stood there with the party hat on his head.. He didn’t say anything. “Why are you doing this?” I asked hm. No reply. “You took everything I worked for. I have nothing left!” Still no reply. I was about to log out when he said, “Oh dear, you are dead!” .. My eyes widened. I felt nauseaous.. I felt like he could see through the screen! A tear rolled down my cheek as I remembered all the hard work I put into it.. All gone.

Suddenly, Zezima pulled out his dragon longsword and started hitting me with it! I said, “NOT AGAIN!” He didn’t stop. He had no mercy. The screen went black and the last thing I remember is me waking up in the garage of my house with blood on my hands. Stab wounds to be exact. I saw someone’s shadow coming from behind me. It was a tall shadow, with four points on top of the head as if he was wearing a party hat. I started screaming as he raised his sword to my throat and shouted, “Oh dear, you are dead!”

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  • Pax

    Well. That was depressing.

    You know… I think pastas that focus around MMOs would be the best to focus around creepy events. It allows the setting to take place pretty much anywhere, and the fact that there are people on the server as well as meaningless data could open up plenty more opportunities to supply the reader with scares. The more I think about it, the better an idea this sounds! Why haven’t more people tried their hands at-

    What’s that? .hack already did all that?

    …oh. Um. Well. Nevermind.

  • cariaian

    I have a couple problems with this one besides the obvious fact that it’s a video game pasta with just aren’t scary. First off how are writing this if you’re dead, in my opinion that writing style is just stupid it’s like “oh I’m supposed to believe that Zezima submitted this for you or something.” No just no its the same reason why I have a problem with the whole candle jack thing.

    Second I find it hard to believe that your parents just didn’t notice that there was money coming out of their account that they didn’t authorize.

    Lastly I got confused by the ending. Did he stab you through the computer or something and then materialize to finish the job in the garage? What’s the point of that? I just don’t get why you woke up in the garage the ending just didn’t really make sense to me.


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